To live a well balanced, rewarding life of our dreams by day and sleep restfully at night.
More love equals less anxiety
Published June 24, 2011 | 
What is anxiety?
I have personally experienced anxiety in different forms such as:
1. a general feeling of un-ease
2. Worrying about a particular thing over and over again
3. Feeling shy and almost panicky at the thought of having to do something (such as take an exam, socialize at a party, etc.)
4. Heart racing and feeling like I am going to have a heart attack
5. hyperventillating
6. emotional outbursts
7. Not being able to sleep
8. A spacey, flighty feeling; not being able to concentrate
Although I can't say that I am 100% anxiety-free, I am much better than I was, say five or ten years ago (my anxiety was probably at its worst in my early-mid thirties).
If I can pinpoint a few things that have particularly helped me stay centered and grounded they would be:
1, Surround myself with positive, supportive people (I do not need negative or emotional vampires in my life).
2. Writing in my journal.
3. Practicing yoga and meditation
4. Praying
5. And most of all, consciously keeping love as my guiding compass. If we stay tuned into the frequency of love, fear and anxiety have less of a chance of getting to us.
How to keep love first and foremost?
1. See the good in situations whenever possible
2. See everybody as a loving person
3. Focus on the love that is in my own heart
4. Think of what I love, who I love, all of the wonderful qualities about my loved ones...
5. List all of the things I am thankful for.
So, the equation for the day is this: more love = less anxiety, more peace
Have a blessed day,
Debra
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Posted in anxiety, Happiness, insomnia, Love, Self-empowerment, Spirituality | 
anxiety, gratitude, journal writing, love, meditation, panic attacks, peace of mind, worry, Yoga | 
Leave a commentFive affirmations for when you are feeling a little afraid or unsure of yourself.
Published May 11, 2011 | 
For those of us with anxiety issues, we often get little pangs of self doubt, un-ease, worry, or outright panic. For tonight and anytime you are feeling a little afraid, unsure of yourself, or uneasy… here are five affirmations for you…
I AM enough.
I AM safe.
I AM where I am supposed to be right now.
I AM supported.
I AM loved.
In Peace,
Debra
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Posted in Affirmations, Affirmations, anxiety, Depression, Self-empowerment | anxiety, fear, feeling safe, loved, positive affirmations, security, worry | Leave a commentFive things that cause anxiety and insomnia and five things that help bring peace and restful sleep
Published April 17, 2011 | 
Doing these five things leads to anxiety and insomnia:
1. Worrying about what others think
2. Resentment
3. Fear of disapproval
4. Overstimulation from violent or exciting movies, television shows, and news.
5. Not feeling confident about yourself.
These five things bring you peace and restful sleep:
1. Forgiveness
2. Releasing worries.
3. Not caring about what others think.
4. Loving yourself.
5. Having silent time before bed: gentle stretching, reading relaxing books, meditation, etc.
Which would you rather have this night and every night?
Goodnight.
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Ten ways to put yourself at-ease, not dis-ease
Published March 14, 2011 | 
To live a well balanced life by day and sleep restfully at night, it is certainly preferable to live and do the things that put us at our ease (calm, centered, joyful, healthy etc) rather than ones that cause dis-ease (anxiety, insomnia, stress, health challenges, etc.)
Here are some ideas to put you at-ease:
1. Just be. That’s it.
2. You are enough, just as you are.
3. When things bother you, let them go as quickly as possible. Tomorrow, next week, or next year will it matter at all?
4. Please yourself and God. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks.
5. Doing your best does not mean having to be perfect.
6. Do what makes you giddy.
7. Do things for no other reason but you want to.
8. Think of all the good you do. This world and the people you touch on a daily basis would not be the same without YOU.
9. If you are making “mistakes” and “bad decisions” that is fantastic- you are acting and doing things that are bringing you closer to success.
10. Take care of yourself. The world will not stop turning on its axis if you permit yourself to unplug and recharge a bit (that hot bath and romance novel awaits).
In peace (and I’m taking a hot bubble bath as soon as I post this!),
Debra
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The Mew Way: Ten things my cat Mew does not do
Published January 20, 2011 | 
My cat Mew does a lot of things right and here are ten things he does not do-
Mew does not:
- Question himself constantly
- Lose sleep over anything
- Miss a meal
- Worry about much
- Fret about the extra pounds he is carrying around
- Overwork himself
- Wake up too early
- Stay up too late
- Spend too much time on the computer
- Get stuck in indecision
Mew JUST IS
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Posted in anxiety, Humor, Self-empowerment, The Mew Way | cat behavior, indecision, just enjoying life, lose sleep, overwork, stress, worry | Leave a comment“Care, but not that much” ~ Herb Cohen- Putting People Pleasing To Rest
Published January 7, 2011 | 
In my lifetime people pleasing has probably been the leading cause of: loss of sleep, worry, anxiety, holding myself back, missed opportunities, and lines on my face.
Perhaps from the time I was a little girl I got conditioned to not just want but absolutely need the approval of my father and when I started school, my teachers. Then when I started my first job, my bosses.
Throughout the years I conducted myself being mindful or thinking about what others thought of me. What did they think of how I looked? What I wore? Who I hung out with? What I did for a living? What my house looked like? How my kids behave? What I said? What car I drove? The agonizing list can go on.
Those of you who are prone to anxiety like I am can relate to this I’m sure. In the past few years I decided that I am tired of living this way- for others. What I need to be doing is making sure I am okay with myself. What others think really does not have to have any control or power over me. This is not an easy task, the shedding of people pleasing. We people pleasers of the world seem to have the mandate of “being nice and perfect” firmly entrenched in our psyches.
I believe that if one can lick the people pleasing thing, peace of mind, a happier life, and much more restful nights of sleep are at hand for the taking.
Sound good? Here are some ideas that are helping me. I can’t say I am completely cured of my people pleasing yet but I, at age 44, am much better than I was even a few years ago.
My list of ten people pleasing blasters:
- Realize that you are enough. You are perfectly fine just as you are. There is no need to impress others.
- Work on living YOUR truth. Be your authentic self. This is your life after all. If not now, when?
- Most people are too busy worrying about themselves or about what you are thinking of them. They don’t have time to be thinking about you.
- What other people think is none of your business (ha! I just love that one).
- If you tried your best, can you really please everybody? The resounding answer is, of course, NO! So, why even try?
- Life is like a buffet table. There is a variety out there and not everybody puts the same things on their plates. The people who are not putting you on their plates- well, just bless them. Then look at and give thanks for all the people who do appreciate, love, and support you. You’d better get a second plate for this plate of yours is awful full!
- When all is said and done, what really matters in the end? Only you can answer that. This would be an excellent journal writing exercise.
- I encourage you to get in the habit of getting out of your comfort zone frequently and stretching yourself. Many of us who have people pleasing tendencies are actually pretty introverted even if we appear outgoing. Walk with confidence. Speak with confidence. Try attending a public speaking class such as Toastmasters. You will find your true voice. You are stronger than you think! It is also eye opening to discover that most of us are afraid to put ourselves out there. 99% of us wear our public persona masks. You are not alone.
- At the root of people pleasing is a kind of perfectionism streak which is not healthy for us. Newsflash: you are not perfect. None of us are. And that is okay! Give yourself permission to ease up and be gentle with yourself. You are just fine.
- If you find yourself bogged down in your anxious people pleasing state, ask yourself, “what is the worst that can happen”? If so and so really was offended by something you said or you didn’t get a perfect evaluation at work, does it really matter? Next week, next month, next year, or ten years from now- will it matter?
I will stop here for tonight. This is a subject I feel very strongly about for it is something that has really affected my life. If I can assist in any way to support you in extinguishing people pleasing from your life agenda, then I will be happy.
In peace (and total confidence in myself),
Debra
P.S. I hope that you have found value in this article. If not, I bless you but I will not lose sleep over it. Okay? : )
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“Why worry?” A relaxed approach to life, The Mew Way
Published November 6, 2010 | 
No worries here!
Worry is not productive. It is a roadblock to our peace of mind. My cat Mew is a laid back kind of cat. Worry is just not in his vocabulary.
When worry is not driving your life, you are:
- present
- Enjoying the moment
- just being alive is good enough
- you are content with what you have
- you are calm and at peace
- you never lose any sleep
- you have energy when you need it or choose to use it
- you are basically a happy cat.
Thanks, Mew.
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Getting more than comfortable in your own skin: celebrating you!
Published October 8, 2010 | 
For those of us who are prone to anxiety, shyness, people pleasing, insecurity, etc., it is not always easy being in our skins.
We are having to spend a lot of energy putting on our masks for the world. We are worried about what others are thinking of us. We are wondering if we are measuring up or good enough.
Well, this Friday night I declare a celebration of you! You can start right now by accepting and realizing that being you is the best possible place to be.
Here are five ways to get more than comfortable in your own skin:
- Know with certainty that you are fantastic.
- What others think of you is none of your business. Chances are, they are too busy with their own stuff to be thinking about you anyway.
- 99.9 percent of what we worry about does not come true.
- Nobody else in this whole entire universe has your exact blueprint of DNA, spirit, talents, abilities, and passions. The world absolutely needs you.
- Now, kick back this Friday evening and celebrate.
Cheers!
Debra : )
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Posted in anxiety, Positive living, Self-empowerment | accepting yourself, anxiety, self confidence, shyness, worry | 2 CommentsNothing lasts forever..and thank goodness for that!
Published August 17, 2010 | 
“This too shall pass”.
A certain amount of peace comes with the knowledge that nothing lasts forever. Whatever we think is giving us a hardship right now or causing us to worry- well, guess what? It will pass! Life is really about change and impermanence. Once we understand and accept that we can enjoy what we have right now: this moment. With this perspective, the intensity of our “problems” may lessen somewhat. Why get so stressed and caught up about things when they won’t last anyway?
We can hold on tightly to people, circumstances, things, issues. We can be worried, tense, and literally make ourselves sick.
Or, the other path is one of peace, one of acceptance, one of being in The Now. Whatever is bothering you will not last.
Tonight, as you write in your journal or meditate, think about some of the things that have been causing you distress.
Now, in your mind, escort them onto a vessel of some kind: a ship or boat (whatever you want to imagine). Once you board with them, look at them (people, situations, problems, bills, whatever). Really look at them. Breathe. Bless them. And mean it. Wish them well. Wish them a good trip. Bon voyage! You may shake their hand, hug them, bow, nod your head, or wave your hand good bye. Then you leave.
From the shore watch the ship sail away. Watch it until it disappears on the horizon. It is gone. Peace.
Sweet dreams,
Debra : )
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Dealing with stress: problems that will pass and problems that need to be dealt with
Published August 12, 2010 | 
Stress is a part of life. How we deal with it will impact the hold it does or does not have on the quality of our lives. Some things will pass and we are putting unnecessary stress on ourselves for worrying about it. Other issues do need to be addressed and the sooner the better!
- Many things we worry about do not ever happen. Often worry is a habit that our minds do. Like anything else, habits can be broken and reprogrammed. If you have habitual worry tapes going on, there are tools you can use. You can write worries down in a journal, meditate, rethink your perspective on many things, etc.
- Some things do need to be dealt with and you have reason to be concerned. Avoiding and putting off dealing with certain things will only make the stress and worry worse. If something is going on with your health or your financial or business life, for instance- burying your head in the sand will not make these problems go away. I find just making myself deal with these issues head on is the best strategy. Make that appointment with the doctor. Talk to the company with whom you are having a billing dispute with, etc. These tasks are not pleasant. Not doing them only prolongs the stress, however. The sooner you take care of the problem, the sooner your peace of mind will be returned to you and you can go on with enjoying your life.
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Posted in anxiety, Self-empowerment, stress | billing dispute, dealing with stress, tips for stress, worry | 1 Comment 
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