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Cancelling negative thought patterns that cause anxiety, sleeplessness, and self-doubt: a journal writing exercise.
Published March 21, 2012 | 
Here is a list of common thought patterns that lead to anxiety and sleepless nights:
1. “I am not good enough”
2. “I don’t have enough”
3. “What are they thinking about me”?
4. “I look fat”
5. “I am a failure”
6. “I am broke”
7. “I am a paycheck away from being bankrupt and living on the street”.
8. “That’s impossible!”
9. “I can’t”
10. “I’m no good at___”
These are just a few “bad tapes” that many of us torture ourselves with on a regular basis, over and over again.
We are not born anxious or fearful or self-loathing!
We come out into the world these beautiful perfectly wonderful creatures!
Sometime between the time we were born to the person we are now we have learned and been conditioned to fear and be anxious and feel bad about ourselves(either by parents, siblings,teachers, friends, and other people our environment,media, our culture,etc).
Well, the good news is that we can work on cancelling all this bad thinking.
Tonight in your journal please write down a list of your negative thought patterns that you play on a regular basis. You know you have them. Now write them down. Or if you can’t think of any right now, have a notebook handy and when you catch yourself doing it, you can jot it down. Enlist a spouse or close friend to help. They can “bust you” if they hear you utter any negative self talk.
Once you write a fearful or anxious thought down, draw a big X across the phrase. That step alone would be really great. I also like to imagine myself cutting my own throat when I am thinking or saying one of these toxic messages to myself while yelling: CANCEL!!!!!
Now, you can actually re-write your own thought patterns to the reverse (the positive tape instead)
For example
1. “I can’t” can be cancelled and X’d and then “I can!” can take it’s place.
2. “I am fat” can be cancelled and X’d (really imagine yourself slashing your throat here!) can instead be “I love and appreciate my healthy and beautiful body”.
3. When you see something that you think you can’t afford such as a nice car on the highway, a beautiful home in a nice neighborhood, or a pretty Spring dress on the clothes rack, cancel “I can’t afford this”, and replace it with: “I can afford that!”.
You get the idea. It takes a little time. Be patient with yourself. Perhaps tackle one negative thought pattern at a time.
Before long you will be confident, worry-free, and sleeping like that innocent perfect baby you began your life as!
Cheers to that!
In Peace,
Debra
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Posted in Affirmations, anxiety, Benefits of Journal Writing, Depression, Getting a good night sleep, insomnia, Journal Prompts, journal writing, panic attack, Positive living, Self-empowerment, stress, worry | 
anxiety, cancelling negative self talk, cut throat image, doubting yourself, loss of sleep, negative tapes, self confidence, we were not born with anxiety, worry, writing for healing | 
1 CommentAnxious thoughts flirting with you? 8 ways to stop anxiety before it outright bites and attacks you.
Published March 18, 2012 | 
Anxiety can be subtle and sneaky at times. It may show up unassuming at first…a funny feeling in your stomach, a slight headache, a worry starting up in your mind…
If we let it, anxiety will continue on this journey until it grips, bites, and attacks you in the form of: panic attacks, sleepless nights, depression, and the feeling of helplessness.
Newsflash: we are far from helpless.
Anxiety and the fear it promotes does not become anything of consequence if we don’t grant it a ticket for its reckless ride on us (our bodies, our peace of mind,our jobs, our relationships, our sleep, our health, our life)!
When you first feel that first hint of anxiety presenting itself, here are eight ways to shoo the offender away:
1. Breathe deeply and slowly
2. Realize you are bigger than this. YOU are the one with all of the control and power.
3. Each time you focus you create a new reality. You can choose to not put any energy into anxiety’s arrival.
4. Laugh at it and look it straight on! Fears can’t get much of a grip on us if we face them. So often we will look back and think “why was I so worried or what was I panicked about”?
5. Get busy doing something: exercise, a project, helping someone else.. Keeping our minds and bodies busy at something will often help.
6. You can take John Parkin’s advice in his book: f**ck it . Essentially the message of this great little book is not to care or attach meaning of things in our lives so much and we will be free…let it go, release. Peace!
7. Write in your journal. Writing can be very healing. If you feel worried about something or feel something is not quite right, get it out on paper.
8. Always remember that fear is not real. This too shall pass. Let those anxious thoughts that are flirting with you right now pass by like the clouds on a beautiful breezy Spring day. They will go away!
In Peace,
Debra
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What is keeping you awake at night?
Published October 24, 2011 | 
If you have challenges with insomnia, what is causing it? It is often helpful to get some insight as to what is keeping us awake at night. If you have a journal I encourage you to write in it nightly and see if any patterns are there.
There are many different reasons for not getting a good night of sleep. For the longest time I had serious challenges with anxiety and worry. Nowadays, I sleep pretty well except for the fact that I have a snoring partner.
Here is a list of common reasons for insomnia:
1. anxiety
2. Worrying: about finances, health, children, job related issues
3. parents with babies and young children who have sleep issues
4. being pregnant
5. back pain
6. restless leg syndrome
7. stressful life events: marital troubles, divorce, job loss, unemployment, aging parents, death, a move
This is not meant to be an exhaustive list. If you are having trouble sleeping at night I do encourage you as mentioned before to:
1. write in your journal
2. talk to your doctor
3. get some support
Please know that you are not alone. You can get help. For years I did not think I would ever sleep well again and then for many years when I got on an anti-anxiety medication I did not think I would be able to sleep well without the help of that drug.
I have been off the medication for five years now. Most nights I sleep soundly. You can too.
Sometimes it helps to share our experiences. Not getting enough sleep can be so frustrating because you end up feeling irritated and physically and emotionally drained.
You are welcome to write in and comment here at The Warm Milk Journal. You may also write in at our Facebook page
Have a blessed day and restful night,
Debra
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Ten things we all have in common
Published September 4, 2011 | 
We all share these things in common:
1. The desire to express ourselves
2. The need to be accepted for who we are.
3. The need to “cut loose” and not worry about things for a while.
4. We all are doing our best
5. None of us are perfect (and thank goodness, right?)
6. We all have lot’s to offer this world
7. We all want to be loved
8. The desire for good health and a good night sleep
9. We all have our fears and our masks that we wear
10. We all have an opportunity each day to start anew
Have a blessed day, everybody!
Debra
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If you feel worry coming on, do one of these ten things…
Published August 4, 2011 | 
If you find your mind slipping into a worrying state, do one of these ten things:
1. Remind yourself of this fact: “this too shall pass”
2. Remember that tomorrow is another day. Each time we focus on something new we create a new beginning. That can be tomorrow or even RIGHT NOW.
3. 99% of what we worry about never comes happens.
4. Smile and “fake it till you make it”. If we physically act cheerful, we will in fact become cheerful (and worrying anxious thoughts don’t stand a chance. Ha!)
5. Jump around in your living room by yourself or with family members to music or just laugh and be silly.
6. Get busy doing something. We tend to worry if we are being idle.
7. Write down a list of things you are thankful for in your gratitude journal.
8. Get moving!
9. Go outside. The natural world is very calming to the nerves and feeds the spirit.
10. Sit up a little taller and declare “I Am enough! Worry, be banished!”
In Peace,
Debra
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Do these ten things and Life can be a day at the beach (whether you are actually at the beach or not)
Published July 29, 2011 | 
A huge source of our stress is what we put on ourselves: hurrying, putting too much on our plates, being perfectionists, multi-tasking, and feeling overwhelmed. There is an easier way. This easier way will pave the path to a more balanced day and restful night.
Wherever you are and whatever you are doing today, life really can be a “day at the beach” if you do these things:
1. Focus your attention on one task at a time.
2. Do your best and live for this day only. Quit beating yourself up about past days and fretting about days in your future (they are not reality).
3. Remember to breathe.
4. Every hour take a mental break by stretching, taking a walk, or doing a breathing exercise.
5. Spend time with people you like.
6. Smile
7. Sit up and stand up straight and tall.
8. If you are particularly worried about something, write the worry down in your journal. Ask yourself, “what is the worst that can happen?”
Meditate on that worst case scenario. Visualize yourself experiencing it and in your mind accept it as if it could be real. Now visualize ways you can improve that situation. Write those solutions down. Start taking action. This exercise will eliminate 99% of the stress you put on yourself with worry (something we all do).
9. What are you thankful for? Think of those things frequently. Write them down.
10. Look for and see the beauty in all things.
That’s it.
Do those ten things and your life will be a day at the beach each and every day.
In Peace,
Debra
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Here’s why I had a great night of sleep last night
Published July 21, 2011 | 
Like many of you, I am an ambitious, creative type of person. Ideas fascinate me. I am intellectually curious and always thinking about things and new ideas. This in itself is not a bad thing. However, where I get myself into trouble is when I either go into my past, project into the future with my thinking, or put so much on my plate that I end up overwhelming myself and my brain wants to explode or shut down. This is not the best recipe for a restful night of sleep.
The title of this post refers to the fact that I slept great last night. And I did! Here is why: I decided to give myself and my mind a break and just focus on The NOW. Very simple. I have this one moment. I don ‘t have to worry about what I need to accomplish this summer before the new school year begins. I don’t have to have the meaning of life all figured out. I don’t have to fret about the mistakes I’ve made or stressing about my mile long to do list….
I just have now, this moment. It can be used to do nothing (which is quite blissful when I permit myself to do nothing). Or, it can be used to do one thing: One task, One activity- not multiple tasks. This is very liberating. One day at a time and one step at a time thinking removes the enormous burden of thinking we have to have it all figured out (and not just this moment all figured out but the next five years or rest of our lives figured out- ugh! I get a headache thinking of that kind of pressure).
My bedside reading last night consisted of reading from the great classic, How To Stop Worrying And Start Living by Dale Carnegie.
I would like to share a few nuggets from Mr. Carnegie’s book with you:
1. “Shut the iron doors on the past and the future. Live in Day-tight compartments” (P.11)
2. “Think”, said Dante, “that this day will never dawn again” today is our most precious possession. It is our only sure possession.(P.10)
3. “Every day is a new life to a wise man” (P.8)
4. “One step enough for me”, taken from a church hymn (P.4)
5. “Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand” ~ Thomas Carlyle (P.1)
6. “Have no thought (anxiety) for the morrow” ~ Jesus (Pages1-2)
In Peace,
Debra
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Posted in anxiety, Depression, Getting a good night sleep, Happiness, insomnia, Positive living, Self-empowerment, stress, Tips to help insomnia | anxiety, being present, Dale Carnegie, good night sleep, ideas, letting go of past, letting of future, over thinking, peace, stress, The Now, worry | Leave a commentRight Thinking, The Mew Way
Published June 29, 2011 | 
Right Thinking, The Mew Way is all about:
1. limiting thinking to only what is necessary
2. keeping it simple
3. Being more than thinking
4. Being in the NOW
5. Finding very little to stress about
6. When there is a reason to stress, it is brief.
According to the Mew Way philosophy, when one has to think they will mostly be these simple (and importantly, fleeting- not lingering) thoughts:
1. Love, purr
2. Hungry, put food in my dish NOW
3. Thirsty, fill up that sink with water NOW
4. Fed. Watered. Thank you. Purr
5. Sleepy. Stretch. Yawn. Nap time
6. Pay attention to me
7. Hello
8. Love. Purr
Occasionally, situations will arise that will deem it necessary to think a bit more urgently.
For example:
1. Don’t step on me!
2. Fireworks! Thunder! Strange people in the house. I need to hide.
3. Suitcases coming out of closet. Something’s up with my people… and I don’t like it.
4. Strange kitty outside…
5. Pet carrier coming in from the garage. REALLY don’t like this development!
Even under these circumstances the thoughts of concern are brief and fleeting. They are not the cause of obsessing or worrying over time about it. When the stressful event is over, IT IS OVER. No lost sleep. No agonizing. No regret about it down the road in later years.
Mew wishes all a purrfectly peaceful day.
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Posted in anxiety, Humor, insomnia, Love, Positive living, stress, The Mew Way | being in the now, cat philosophy, lessons from my cat, love, Mew Way, no regret, philosophy, purring, right thinking, stress, worry | Leave a commentMore love equals less anxiety
Published June 24, 2011 | 
What is anxiety?
I have personally experienced anxiety in different forms such as:
1. a general feeling of un-ease
2. Worrying about a particular thing over and over again
3. Feeling shy and almost panicky at the thought of having to do something (such as take an exam, socialize at a party, etc.)
4. Heart racing and feeling like I am going to have a heart attack
5. hyperventillating
6. emotional outbursts
7. Not being able to sleep
8. A spacey, flighty feeling; not being able to concentrate
Although I can't say that I am 100% anxiety-free, I am much better than I was, say five or ten years ago (my anxiety was probably at its worst in my early-mid thirties).
If I can pinpoint a few things that have particularly helped me stay centered and grounded they would be:
1, Surround myself with positive, supportive people (I do not need negative or emotional vampires in my life).
2. Writing in my journal.
3. Practicing yoga and meditation
4. Praying
5. And most of all, consciously keeping love as my guiding compass. If we stay tuned into the frequency of love, fear and anxiety have less of a chance of getting to us.
How to keep love first and foremost?
1. See the good in situations whenever possible
2. See everybody as a loving person
3. Focus on the love that is in my own heart
4. Think of what I love, who I love, all of the wonderful qualities about my loved ones...
5. List all of the things I am thankful for.
So, the equation for the day is this: more love = less anxiety, more peace
Have a blessed day,
Debra
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Posted in anxiety, Happiness, insomnia, Love, Self-empowerment, Spirituality | anxiety, gratitude, journal writing, love, meditation, panic attacks, peace of mind, worry, Yoga | Leave a commentFive affirmations for when you are feeling a little afraid or unsure of yourself.
Published May 11, 2011 | 
For those of us with anxiety issues, we often get little pangs of self doubt, un-ease, worry, or outright panic. For tonight and anytime you are feeling a little afraid, unsure of yourself, or uneasy… here are five affirmations for you…
I AM enough.
I AM safe.
I AM where I am supposed to be right now.
I AM supported.
I AM loved.
In Peace,
Debra
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Posted in Affirmations, Affirmations, anxiety, Depression, Self-empowerment | anxiety, fear, feeling safe, loved, positive affirmations, security, worry | Leave a commentJoin the fun!
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