To live a well balanced, rewarding life of our dreams by day and sleep restfully at night.
Worrying a lot? Get busy doing these ten things.
Published April 28, 2013 | 
I find that during times when my mind is stuck in a worrying pattern, it just may be I have too much time on my hands. There is nothing like getting busy and working at a task (getting in “the flow”) that makes the worrying monkey mind go away.
Here are some ways to get busy and say good bye to worry:
1. Hit the gym and have a good work out!
2. Try a new fitness class at the gym.
3. Do something creative: write, paint, draw, sculpt, dance…
4. Do some volunteer work
5. Set a few goals that are important to you and take action on them.
6. Get lost in a really good book.
7. Join a new club: Toastmasters, a local French club, Book club, etc.
8. Organize something: your closets, your bookshelves, that junk drawer you have in the kitchen, your files, email inbox, or photos on your computer
9. Write thank you letters to anyone who has made a difference in your life.
10. When all else fails, call mom or cuddle with your cat.
In Peace,
Debra
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Posted in anxiety, Happiness, worry, worry journal | 
getting busy, getting rid of anxiety, getting rid of worry, stress | 
1 CommentA Memo to Monday Morning
Published April 22, 2013 | 
Monday morning,
you have arrived.
A blustery day (so far)…
I need to find a way
to turn you into something worthwhile.
Perhaps I will remember to:
smile,
be thankful for the little things,
and disassociate from people and experiences that
do not serve my happiness and well being.
Yeah, Monday morning…
As you turn to afternoon,
may you mellow a bit and treat me kindly
as I soon embark upon your trail this A.M.
In concert with you, Dear day,
I will find a way to
peace,
an armor to deflect the stress…
and eventually rest so that I may welcome in
Tuesday with promise.
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Second guessing one’s self is an invitation for anxiety and insomnia
Published December 4, 2012 | 
If you are a perfectionist, a people pleaser, or just a person who wants to do good, you may from time to time fall prey to the “second guessing yourself” syndrome. What is this, you ask?
Does any of this sound familiar?
1. You make a decision about something and then stew and fret about whether you made the right decision.
2. You make purchases which you later regret.
3. You sometimes question your choice in: careers, what you are wearing today, what you ordered for dinner, where you are living, even your mate…
4. If you are ever someplace or doing something and you think about all of the other places you could be or the other things you could be doing.
5. You worry about the presentation you made at work, or the paper you turned into your professor…
6. You stress about how you are spending your recreational time: should I be doing dance instead of yoga? Writing in my paper journal or electronic journal? Do I hop on my bike or simply go out on a walk?
This kind of doubting and second guessing one’s self is a recipe for anxiety and insomnia. I know. I am an expert at self-torture. I think many of us people pleasers of the world are prone to this. Perfectionists and tender hearted folks are as well. We just want to do well! We want to make the right choices… be the perfect mothers, wives, and employees. When it comes time to have a vacation we want to select the perfect one: destination, air fare, where we sit on the plane, what hotel we will be staying at, what sights we will see, what restaurants we will eat at, etc.
If we permit our minds to think about all of the options out there (and in today’s world there are always so many choices, aren’t there?!), we will be stuck in agony. There is this “grass is greener on the thing that I did not choose” mantra.
This is misery. Anxiety. Sleepless nights.
I don’t know that I will ever be completely free of this. Just when I think I am sailing along pretty well on this river I am riding, a student or my husband or my kid will say something to me that completely takes me by surprise and because I am not prepared, I take it personally and get emotionally hijacked… Or perhaps an unexpected bill or expense will present itself and I panic and think to myself “What have you done, Debra, staying home all those years with those children and then returning to work as a teacher when you could have practiced law”?
Hmmmm…the beat down and sleepless nights occur.
Although I am still not as thick skinned as I wish I could be, I have come a long way over the years. I have found some things that have helped me overcome my anxiety and self doubt:
1. With each day, I remind myself of the fact that I am doing my best. I may make mistakes (perhaps I wasn’t the perfect teacher, wife, or mother…) but I did my best with what I had that day. That is all God, my students, husband, daughter, life, and (myself) can ask of me.
2. When I make a decision about something, I do it and feel good about it (no ruminating about what I did or did not do).
3. When someone says something that stings me, I step back (and breathe) and try to remember that we all have our subjective points of view. What someone says about me is not set in stone. It has more to do with them than about me, anyway.
4.Go with it! The “perfect” teacher, mother, wife, Christmas holiday…is an elusive myth. What is “perfect” anyway? Real people are not air brushed, things do not always go according to plan, the perfectly planned lesson, dinner party, wedding, or vacation are going to be what they are going to be- no matter how meticulously we planned for them! We need to accept this about life and be more flexible.
5. I like Dale Carnegie’s idea of living in day-tight compartments. Live today.
Life, one day at a time. That’s it.
In Peace,
Debra
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Stressful day? Twenty ways to let it go!
Published October 25, 2012 | 
Stressful day at work or at home with the kids? The good news is the day is over!
At the end of the day, I have many ways that I enjoy letting the day go and easing into my evening.
Here are just a few…
I may choose to let the day go by:
1. Going to the gym
2. Going to Bikram Yoga class
3. Going for a bike ride
4. Taking a walk on the beach
5. taking a nap
6. Having some tea and writing in my journal
7. Pouring myself a nice glass of red wine
8. Listening to Jazz music
9. Cooking dinner
10. Taking a bath
11. Watching a movie or favorite TV show with my family
12. reading
13. Knowing that I did the best with this day and now it is time to let it go…
14. Bless the day and welcome the evening
15. Put on my comfort clothes (yoga pants or jammies)
16. Pet and cuddle with my cat
17. Play Yahtzee with my daughter
18. Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, blog….
19. Sit outside on my little back patio
20. Spend time with my best friend (my husband).
Have a splendid evening (don’t forget to let the day go)!
In Peace,
Debra
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Losing sleep at night? Calling in the “Anxiety Busters”!
Published October 21, 2012 | 
Do you remember the 1984 Bill Murray and Dan Akroyd classic, Ghostbusters?
Who are you going to call? “ghostbusters”!
I feel that managing our anxiety is a little bit like that too. No matter how well we are doing in our lives, for those of us who have a history and propensity for anxiety, we need to be ever mindful and vigilant to “bust” our anxiety! Wouldn’t it be nice to have a crew of “anxiety busters” come as soon as we are experiencing a hint of anxiety?
Well, we can have the anxiety busters come in anytime in our lives….
When we are feeling:
1. scared,
2. insecure,
3. jealous,
4. ashamed,
5. regretful,
6. stuck,
7. overwhelmed,
8. like we don’t have any options…
All we need to do is call our anxiety busters, which are:
1. prayer
2. unplugging
3. support from loved ones, friends, community,
4. writing in our journals,
5. taking a long hot lavender bath,
6. taking a walk around the block,
7. confiding in someone we trust,
8. breathing
Here’s to busting anxiety!
In peace,
Debra
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I am doing my best… a much needed morning prayer
Published October 4, 2012 | 
Dear God,
Thank you for this new day. I will do my best to be supportive of others. Please help me to remember that it is important for me to be kind and forgiving of myself as well.
When I am feeling stressed today, may I remember to breathe and not take it all too seriously.
When I have an opportunity to do so, may I compliment and affirm at least one person I encounter today.
May I find the time to rest…laugh….create….
God,
I am doing my best. I really am. I appreciate your gentle guidance and being at my side and in my heart, always.
Amen
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Do these five things now if you are stressed and feeling anxious
Published September 5, 2012 | If you are stressed and feeling anxious, try doing these five things for fast relief:
1. BREATHE
2. Spend some time outdoors
3. Go to the gym and workout!
4. In your journal write down what is stressing you. It may not seem so bad once you get it written down on paper.
5. Remember, “this too shall pass”
Did I mention to breathe?
In peace,
Debra
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Being organized helps TV mom Renee Wyatt live a well balanced life: an exclusive interview
Published June 18, 2012 | 
Renee Wyatt is the wife of Rich Wyatt and mother to four children ages ranging from 3 to 21. She helps run her family’s firearm business and stars in the Discovery Channel’s American Guns Reality TV show.
Hello Renee. It’s so nice to meet you. How are you?
Hi Debra. I am fantastic. Thanks. I want to start out by saying that I am a big proponent of getting a good night sleep. I believe everything we do is affected by the quality of our sleep. I really like what you do.
That’s great. I appreciate that. I have to start out by asking: Is it scary having all those firearms and things that can blow up near you?
No, not at all. A gun is a tool. Guns don’t kill people. Improper training is the problem.
What do you do to keep your family safe?
I teach them life skills. It is important to develop a sense of awareness. Be aware of your surroundings. If something doesn’t feel right, get out of there. The best self defense is not being in a dangerous situation to begin with. Get yourself proper training. Be a difficult target.
One of our big goals here at The Warm Milk Journal is to live a well balanced life by day. How do you manage to raise four kids, run a large business,
and star in a reality TV show? I think a lot of us would be really stressed if we tried to do all of that.
Debra, I’ve become a master at efficiency. Time management, keeping organized, that’s what keeps me going. I like the sense of accomplishment that comes from completing my tasks.
You have a point there. Being unorganized, allowing things to pile up, and procrastinating is an invitation to stress and anxiety.
Yes, absolutely.
Wyatt PR
So, at the end of the day, what do you do to relax and pamper yourself?
Since we are on a television show I don’t watch a whole lot of TV. I do enjoy reading.
What book(s) would be found on your bed stand right now?
I am currently enjoying Gemma Halliday’s High Heels Mysteries
Thank you so much, Renee. It’s been so nice to meet and chat with you!
Same here, Debra, you’re so sweet!
Coming attraction:
An interview with Rich and Renee’s 21 year old son, Kurt. Kurt helps run his family’s business and plans to take it over one day. I asked Kurt some tough questions about violence in our communities, young people doing drugs, and how to encourage our youth in today’s tough economy.
Stay tuned!
All photos credit: Wyatt PR
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Dealing with difficult people
Published March 4, 2012 | 
Part of daily life with imperfect humans is dealing with difficult people…
In your personal life: spouses, misbehaving children, family members and in laws, noisy neighbors, etc.
At work: gossipy colleagues, micromanaging bosses, complaining customers, etc.
These are just a few examples. Encounters with these people happen to most of us frequently, if not every day.
These events and interactions are stressful. For those of us with people pleasing tendencies they can be the source of great anxiety and loss of sleep.
The thing about life and people is that no matter how hard we try, not everybody is going to like us or behave the way we want them to. We can be the caring and wonderful people that we are and we are still going to have unrational, disgruntled customers or out of control toddlers.
What can we do so that we can have peace restored within us and get our sleep at night?
1. Breathe!
2. Take care of ourselves by eating right and getting exercise if we feel particularly stressed about a person or situation.
3. Remember that we can’t control what other people are going to say and do.
4. Even our best of intentions are going to backfire when it comes to other people.
5. We are not responsible for others’ behavior; only our own.
6. If we have done our best, we can give ourselves permission to let it go.
7. People are going to be unreasonable at times and that is not a personal reflection about us. In fact, it is not about us at all. So… don’t take what others say or do personally!
8. If we are feeling personally attacked we may choose to assert ourselves or walk away. Either choice is a good one depending on the situation.
9. Don’t worry about what others think of us. It is none of our business.
10. Remember that we can’t and won’t please everybody.
11. We can limit interactions and time with people who are consistently negative or abusive. We are free to choose who we spend our time with.
12. We are in charge of the way we react to difficult people and situations.
13. We give others too much power if we let them affect our peace of mind and sleep.
14. You may find it helpful to talk it out with someone you trust
15. Writing things down may be helpful too.
Do your best to let difficult people go. Their words and actions do not have to directly affect you if you don’t let them.
You can be like Teflon and just let things slide off you and not stick.
You have the power, not others!
In Peace,
Debra
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Posted in anxiety, Depression, Family life, Getting a good night sleep, Happiness, insomnia, journal writing, Parenthood, Positive living, Self-empowerment, stress, worry | crying toddlers, dealing with difficult people, giving away our power, how we react to others, people pleasing, stress, unhappy customers, writing things down | Leave a commentOverworked? Six ways to deal with work stress
Published January 18, 2012 | 
Stress at work can be a huge cause of anxiety and loss of sleep.
In today’s business world, employees are expected to take on more and make themselves more available after hours.
There is great pressure on public employees as well (local government, public school teachers, etc.). The current economy has left many things unfunded and yet the workers are expected to do more with less.
If you are a stay at home parent, you may not have a job outside the home currently, but you are certainly working too! You have the demands of raising your precious babies, keeping the household running smoothly, and trying to take care of yourself.
Here are a few ideas for all of us (no matter what kind of work we do) to deal with the stress and pressures we are facing these days:
1. Write a list of a few things down the night before or first thing in the morning of the most important things you need to get done during your day. Don’t make the list too long! Cross them off as you accomplish them. Tell yourself that if you at least do the task on top you will have had a successful and productive day.
2. Take breaks throughout your day. Take a walk. Stretch and get away from your desk and computer for a few minutes. If you are a stay at home mom, sign up at a gym that has a nice nursery and give yourself an hour to work out or attend a fitness class.
3. Remember: you can’t please everyone. Don’t even try!
4. Do your best not to take work home with you. In my experience, we train others how to treat us. In other words, if employers or family members know they can encroach upon your personal time they will.
5. Watch our modern devices such as cell phones, Ipads, laptops, etc. These days we can stay plugged in 24/7 if we choose. These time bandits can really suck up a lot of our time and life.
6. Always remember that tomorrow is another day. What you don’t get done today? Don’t sweat it. The world will continue to function. Rest and sleep well. You did your best today.
In Peace,
Debra
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