Welcome to The Warm Milk Journal. Whether this is your first visit or you have been here a while… please know I am glad you are here.
It is my hope that you are here for one of the following reasons:
1. You are having a hard time sleeping at night.
2. You are challenged with anxiety that is affecting your life in some way and possibly how well you are sleeping at night.
3. You would just like a little comfort, perhaps some words of encouragement or something to make you smile…
Here at The Warm Milk Journal we are a community of supportive people that wish to live the life of our dreams by day and sleep restfully at night.
Glad you are here!
It doesn’t matter how comfy your mattress, linens, and pillows are.. or how early you turn in at night, if you are not right with your relationships.
We are social beings. I believe the most important life purpose we have is to be in relationship. If something is not right with our most important relationships, we will not sleep well; guaranteed!
Here at The Warm Milk Journal our wish for you is to sleep well at night!
So, tonight I offer you ideas to get right with your relationships so you can rest peacefully tonight (and every night)!
The important relationships:
1. Relationship with God.
If my faith is wobbly and wavering, I suffer from incredible anxiety and sleepless nights. I think Joel Osteen says it well when he speaks about our faith and our mountains (aka our challenges or “problems). He quotes Jesus in Mark 11:23 (kjv)”Whoever will say to this mountain, be removed, and does not doubt in his heart, he will have whatever he says”. Source: I Declare 31 Promises to Speak Over your Life by Joel Osteen, p.161
2. Relationship with spouse
This is so huge for me. If I go to bed after an argument with my husband John, I am quite literally in hell all night. I can not sleep until I know there is harmony between me and my husband. Our marriages are the most sacred and important relationships we will ever have. Put them first. All else will fall into place.
An absolutely wonderful site is Fawn Weaver’s Happy Wives Club.It’s a blog celebrating loving our husbands. It is very life affirming and I highly recommend it! What is more important than love?
3. Relationship with self
This is another big one. I spent years of my life beating myself up, torturing myself with self doubt and fear and pity. If we are not right with ourselves we are setting ourselves up for anxiety and many sleepless nights. We need to accept and love ourselves. Be gentle. Accept. Love. Know we are doing our best. Forgive and let go of the past. Quit our people pleasing ways… Try imagining your four year old self. Really center on this image. You were this beautiful innocent little person once who just needed to be loved and accepted… guess what? You are still that person!
Begin now to unconditionally love yourself. Self berating and perfectionism and pleasing need to go out with yesterday’s newspaper. Got it?!
4. Relationship with parents
My Jewish background makes it very clear about this: we are to honor our parents. They gave us life. If we are holding onto grudges from the past, it is time to let them go. Our parents did their best raising us (just as we are doing our best raising our own children). Focus on the good they did. The rest? Let it go! Love them. If your parents are getting older and they don’t live near you: call them, write them thank you notes (Facebook and texting don’t count). Visit them. Cherish them now. What a gift they gave us and what a gift life and God has given us if they are still here. If they are not, pray and love them and know they are in a good place!
5. Relationship with community.
Agape, love of all mankind and the world is so important. If we choose to be kind, gentle, and non violent in our society… so much good will come from this. Each individual has great power to influence the whole. Something simple such as letting the car on the highway in your lane or smiling at the stranger in your grocery store… we never really know exactly how our behavior (if centered in love) can affect others. But we can be sure that it does in same way… how do we want to affect others and our community)?
6. Relationship with our children
A few things I will say about this all important relationship… children are our future- they need our unconditional love, support, guidance, firm boundaries and discipline. Our kids don’t need us to be their best friends or to earn trophies that they really did not earn. Our kids need to learn the boost of confidence that comes from hard work and good character. They need the freedom to make mistakes and learn from them. They need to see mom and dad who make their marriage a priority and grow up in secure and solid homes as opposed to stress and (possibly) divorced homes because parents made the kids the entire focus of the home at the expense of the marriage.
7. Relationship with profession: (employer, colleagues, clients, customers).
Integrity! Do what you say you are going to do. Deliver value. Be a problem solver rather than a whiner.
Get these seven relationships right and you will sleep well at night. I promise!
As I continue on this journey of blogging, teaching, and living, I am beginning to see that it is the simple things that make life sweet (including a good night sleep).
What do I mean by living simply?
I am sure we all have our own ideas (this would make a great journal writing exercise, hint hint)!
This evening, living simply means to me:
1. Taking great pleasure in watching my: daughter, cat, the ocean, the wildlife in my own little back patio.
2. Letting the past go! Not having that heavy ball and chain of regret truly gives me peace at night.
3. Savoring that first cup of coffee in the morning or a glass of wine at night.
4. Feeling thankful that regardless of anything else going on, I have a roof over my head, my health, and my family.
5. Being mindful and thankful for each breath I take in.
I sleep best when:
1. I am gentle on myself and others
2. I have been active and spent some time outdoors during the day
3. I am learning new things
4. I look forward to at least one thing about the coming day…
5. I feel loved
When do you sleep best?
Having a hard time getting a good night’s rest? Tired of feeling tired all the time?
Aside from medical conditions that need to be addressed with your doctor (such as sleep apnea, clinical depression, physical pain, and others)…
The secret to getting a good night sleep is… (are you ready)?
It is this:
To accept and be at peace (and better yet, to be joyous about) what our life situation is NOW.
I guarantee you that if you are in this place of peace and acceptance, you will find yourself sleeping restfully most nights.
How do we get to this place?
I recommend you do these seven things:
1. Not fret and stew about yesterdays.
2. When you get mad, get over it quickly and let it go (forgiveness and flexibility are very powerful for healing)!
3. Quit the habit of second guessing yourself. Once you’ve made a decision, be good with it. Stand Firm.
4. Know that you are where you should be right now.
5. If something occurs unexpected, do your best to “go with it”. Is there something you can learn from this new (albeit unexpected development)?
6. Look for the beauty and good that is around you all of the time (it really is there when you choose to look)!
7. So much of what we stress about is “fluff” and won’t amount to much in a few hours, days, weeks, certainly in a few years… what can you choose to let go of NOW? (for the sake of your health, a good night sleep, and quite possibly a longer life)?
The choice is yours, of course. Continue on the course of worry, stress, regret, anxiety, and insomnia…
or do these seven things and enjoy peace, happiness, and a good night of sleep most nights.
Much love and peace to you,
Let’s face it, we are just not our best if we don’t get a good night of sleep.
Sleep is essential to our bodies and brains healing and recharging.
If you have not been sleeping well lately I encourage you to do these five things:
1. Keep a journal and note how you are sleeping each night and what you did during the day (what you ate, your exercise, job or family events, etc.)
Patterns may present themselves and you can get to the root of why you are not sleeping well.
2. Clean up your diet and drink lot’s of water (just don’t drink too close to bedtime).
3. Take a walk daily (or a swim, bike ride, yoga class). Get moving! It is even extra great if you can spend time moving outside!
4. Get some fresh air.
5. Do something “just for fun” each day.
See if these five simple steps help you to sleep better.
Without enough sleep, we all become tall two-year-olds. ~JoJo Jensen, Dirt Farmer Wisdom, 2002
Goodnight and sweet dreams!
We are already aware of the calming benefits of drinking a cup of warm milk at bedtime. Now add a dash of nutmeg to your favorite sleepy time drink!
Nutmeg has a compound called myristicin in it that will provide our brains with the relaxing hormone, serotonin.
At Christmas time, it is worth a try to put a bit of nutmeg on our favorite eggnog drink too!
Source: Woman’s World February 27, 2012 Page 3
What made you feel safe and loved as a young child at bedtime?
Was it your soft fuzzy “blankie”?
Perhaps your mom or dad reading you a bedtime story, saying your prayers with you, and tucking you in?
As you get ready to go to bed tonight, I invite you to think back to a time when you felt safe and loved. If you were afraid, loving arms were there to hold you. When you were cold, blankets and a teddy bear or raggedy ann doll were there to cuddle.
You are still that child deep inside. You are still safe and loved.
My heart is light and happy as my eyes get heavy with
the idea that perhaps now is a good time to drift off
Quiet and soothing…
I appreciate your dark beauty that will guard
me as I sleep.
Look over me, evening, and
keep me safe.
For the next eight hours,
I am yours.
A simple formula for getting a good night sleep tonight?
Go to sleep, knowing you gave the day what you had to give.
It is over now. Time to rest.
Sink into blessed sleep…
May peace envelop, caress, and cradle you
in its safe harbor and deliver you
to dawn renewed and radiant.