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Cancelling negative thought patterns that cause anxiety, sleeplessness, and self-doubt: a journal writing exercise.
Published March 21, 2012 | 
Here is a list of common thought patterns that lead to anxiety and sleepless nights:
1. “I am not good enough”
2. “I don’t have enough”
3. “What are they thinking about me”?
4. “I look fat”
5. “I am a failure”
6. “I am broke”
7. “I am a paycheck away from being bankrupt and living on the street”.
8. “That’s impossible!”
9. “I can’t”
10. “I’m no good at___”
These are just a few “bad tapes” that many of us torture ourselves with on a regular basis, over and over again.
We are not born anxious or fearful or self-loathing!
We come out into the world these beautiful perfectly wonderful creatures!
Sometime between the time we were born to the person we are now we have learned and been conditioned to fear and be anxious and feel bad about ourselves(either by parents, siblings,teachers, friends, and other people our environment,media, our culture,etc).
Well, the good news is that we can work on cancelling all this bad thinking.
Tonight in your journal please write down a list of your negative thought patterns that you play on a regular basis. You know you have them. Now write them down. Or if you can’t think of any right now, have a notebook handy and when you catch yourself doing it, you can jot it down. Enlist a spouse or close friend to help. They can “bust you” if they hear you utter any negative self talk.
Once you write a fearful or anxious thought down, draw a big X across the phrase. That step alone would be really great. I also like to imagine myself cutting my own throat when I am thinking or saying one of these toxic messages to myself while yelling: CANCEL!!!!!
Now, you can actually re-write your own thought patterns to the reverse (the positive tape instead)
For example
1. “I can’t” can be cancelled and X’d and then “I can!” can take it’s place.
2. “I am fat” can be cancelled and X’d (really imagine yourself slashing your throat here!) can instead be “I love and appreciate my healthy and beautiful body”.
3. When you see something that you think you can’t afford such as a nice car on the highway, a beautiful home in a nice neighborhood, or a pretty Spring dress on the clothes rack, cancel “I can’t afford this”, and replace it with: “I can afford that!”.
You get the idea. It takes a little time. Be patient with yourself. Perhaps tackle one negative thought pattern at a time.
Before long you will be confident, worry-free, and sleeping like that innocent perfect baby you began your life as!
Cheers to that!
In Peace,
Debra
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Posted in Affirmations, anxiety, Benefits of Journal Writing, Depression, Getting a good night sleep, insomnia, Journal Prompts, journal writing, panic attack, Positive living, Self-empowerment, stress, worry | 
anxiety, cancelling negative self talk, cut throat image, doubting yourself, loss of sleep, negative tapes, self confidence, we were not born with anxiety, worry, writing for healing | 
1 CommentDoubting yourself in a high pressure world?
Published February 23, 2012 | 
You doubt yourself,
it’s easy to do.
Second guessing can become second nature…
For if things are not as we like, who are we to blame?
Looking in the mirror is all too easy.
Operating in a high pressure world,
Do you ever want to scream?
There is another way…
a better way (I do so believe).
And that is simply to just be.
Judgement and critcism from self (and others if that may be the case) can
be put to rest.
You don’t have to be the best according to any set standards out there…
For you already are the best
just as you are.
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What would happen if you stopped hiding yourself from the world? Dealing with social anxiety
Published January 14, 2012 | Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher
Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow. ~Dan Rather
Who and what are you hiding from?
Many of us with an introvert bent or struggle with issues of social anxiety tend to shield ourselves from the world to some extent.
This shield or mask may take on many forms in our daily lives such as:
1. A smile frequently on our faces (whether we are feeling cheerful or not. Frequently we may be feeling nervous but oh, do we smile nevertheless!)
2. Say yes to things (obligations such as volunteer projects, tasks for work, social invitations, etc.) that really we would prefer to say no to.
3. Not pursuing things that we would like to do (it could be hobby related, work related, or relationships) because we are afraid of how we will be perceived by others.
4. Accepting a position of underemployment even if we are highly educated
5. Stressing about having family and friends over to our home because we fear their judgment
If you can relate to any of this, I invite you to ask yourself a few questions:
1. What would it feel like if I took my “mask” off?
2. Does it matter whether everybody likes me or approves of me?
3. What if my smile reflected a genuine joy from within me rather than a plastic people pleasing nervous smile permanently etched on my face when out in public?
4. What would I do in my life if I was not afraid to just be myself?
5. What is the worst thing that can happen if I just “go for it”! (as it pertains to anything you may be holding yourself back on).
I will leave you now to reflect…
A blessed and peaceful day to you!
Debra
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Posted in anxiety, Positive living, Self-empowerment, worry | anxiety, people pleasing, self confidence, shyness, social anxiety | 2 Comments“I Am an original because…” A journal writing exercise
Published January 8, 2012 | Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~Judy Garland
It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings
Definition of original: Not derived from something else; fresh and unusual (from TheFreeDictionary.Com)
In your journals, write on the top of the page “I Am an original because:”….
Then write a list of all the wonderful unique qualities that make up YOU.
Ready?
Let’s see, I would like to try this tonight as well..
I Am an original because…
1. Who sings silly love songs to her cats the way I do? ; )
2. I have a way with language and write with a voice that is all my own.
3. I whip up things in the kitchen that are truly my own creations (no recipes, thank you very much)
4. I excel at games such as Jeopardy and Scrabble yet I have a mechanical disability and I find it difficult to put together the simplest of things.. (they had me in mind when they invented the dumb blond screw in the light bulb jokes. Ha! lol)
5. Nobody has my smile or
6. My way with children
I will stop here for I feel fantastic, tall, confident, and happy about the unique qualities that make up ME.
Your turn, sweet friends..
a blessed night to you all!
Debra
I DON’T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR BEING MYSELF
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Finding your voice, part 2
Published August 8, 2011 | 
What does finding your voice mean to you?
For me, it means:
1. Not apologizing for being myself
2. Not being afraid to voice my opinions
3. Not being afraid to ask for what I am worth
4. Not being afraid to promote myself
5. Sharing with others the quirky way that I see things
6. Having the confidence to live an authentic life
7. asserting myself
8. Saying no when I don’t want to do something
9. Having more fun and joy in my life because I am not critiquing, judging, or silencing myself all of the time; in other words:
10. Not holding myself back because I am afraid of what others think!
How do you find your voice?
1. Journal writing: explore any fears you may have, do some creative writing, ask yourself some good questions…
2. Blogging: there is nothing like writing something that you know others are going to read. In time as you get more comfortable and confident, your true voice will begin to come out and shine!
3. Public speaking: Yes, this is a scary idea for many of us. Putting yourself out there will increase your confidence. I recommend attending a Toastmaster’s meeting. They have a great program that supports anybody who wants to improve their communication and leadership skills.
4. Challenge yourself regularly by trying new things and meeting new people.
5. Meditate and write down this affirmation: ” I Am enough” Say it, feel it, and believe it!
6. What do you say “yes” to?
7. It is okay to say no to things you don’t want to do. It is your plate. Don’t let others load it up for you with their demands and requests.
8. If you start to worry about what others think, realize that they are probably worrying about what others are thinking about them!
9. Sing in the shower
10. When you are home alone try some verbal chants when you are meditating. Simple “oms” work nicely. The vibration of your own voice is healing and quite empowering.
Have a blessed day!
Debra
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Posted in Affirmations, anxiety, Benefits of Journal Writing, Blogging, creative writing, Meditations, Positive living, Self-empowerment, worry | ask good questions, blogging, chanting oms, expressing yourself, finding your voice, journal writing, public speaking fear, saying no, saying yes, self confidence, singing in the shower, Toastmasters, worrying what others think | 1 CommentFinding your voice for greater confidence and a better night sleep! Part 1
Published August 6, 2011 | 
In today’s fast world it is easy to feel lost and overwhelmed. Technology has changed so much in recent years and there is so much information coming at us all the time. There is no physical or healthy way to keep up or consume it all.
Where I am going with this? The more we find and develop our own voice, the less dependent we will be on others. We will be more confident in our own ideas and not rely on the advice of loved ones, friends, and said “experts” out there.
Many of us have issues of anxiety, shyness, insecurity, etc. It is all the more important to find and use our voices.
As a child and young adult I suffered from a lot of strep throat infections. Louise Hay, in her book, Heal Your Body, describes our throat as the “avenue of expression. Channel of creativity” She says that if we are experiencing a sore throat we have an “inability to speak up for one’s self.” We may also have “stifled anger, stifled creativity, or a refusal to change”.
The affirmations used to treat sore throats:
“It’s okay to make noise. I express myself freely and joyously. I speak up for myself with ease. I express my creativity. I am willing to change.
”
“I open my heart and sing the joys of love”
I just love those affirmations and have them written in my journal.
What are some ways that you can more freely express yourself, assert yourself, be creative, and more flexible? What does it mean to you to open one’s heart and sing the joys of love?
I invite you to ask yourself these questions. This would be an excellent journal writing session.
I will stop here for now. In our next post, we will talk about some ideas that have surfaced about finding our own voice…
Have a blessed day,
Debra
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A letter to the life of my dreams…
Published June 15, 2011 | 
Oh, life of my dreams
You have always been there
for me to claim and seize and
rejoice in you.
For years I have had my excuses and layers of
defenses as to why
you are not possible.
What perseverance you have-
waiting for me to finally take you
and own you.
Thank you for your patience.
I feel I am getting nearer.
You are so close I can just about feel you
and see you;
Taste you and hear you.
Experience you NOW.
Dearest Life Of My Dreams,
I am weary of keeping you at bay,
tired of saying “one day” or “someday” I will let you in.
If I dawdle anymore you most certainly have my permission
to give me a BIG KICK IN THE PANTS,OK?
Thank you kindly,
Debra
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Eight ways to make this a great day
Published May 20, 2011 | 
8 Ways to make this a great day:
1. Stand and sit tall. Good posture allows more oxygen to go into your brain. You will feel more alert and confident.
2. Smile
3. Laugh at least once- a real Buddha belly laugh
4. Do something different. Shake things up a little.
5. Plan and do an adventure this weekend.
6. Help another
7. Get outside and look at green natural settings. The color green promotes calmness and well being.
8. Wear a bright colorful outfit today and show the world what you got!
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Strengthening your “assertiveness muscle” for less anxiety, more confidence, and sounder sleep.
Published May 10, 2011 | 
Anxiety can be caused by not asserting ourselves. Many of us are “nice” and as a result more timid than we would like to be. We give in to others’ wishes over our own and then later kick ourselves for not standing up and asserting our ideas, wishes, needs, etc. Over time anxiety and regret can take hold and this is not an optimal way to live.
Some of us may be more extroverted than others. That does not mean that we all don’t have a voice. What are some ways we can exercise and strengthen our “assertiveness muscle?”.
This morning I am going to encourage you to think about how you will assert yourself more in your daily life.
Today I have already set an intention to stand up for myself.
In my journal, I have jotted down a few ideas, such as:
1. Ask for help and support at work.
2. Express my opinions more verbally.
3. Promote myself and what I have to offer more
4. Don’t put up with bad behavior from others.
5. Believe in myself and know that the world needs to hear me.
6. I am living from a space of integrity and authenticity. What others’ think does not matter.
7. Do not ask for opinions or permission from others- simply take action.
8. Be a squeaky wheel if I need to be.
I will stop here. Your turn! In your journals, write down any ways that being timid and not taking action for yourself has affected your life. Note some ideas for you to assert yourself more.
Positive affirmations help as well. You can write things like:
I AM strong.
I AM confident.
I AM important.
The World needs to hear me.
What others think does not matter or is none of my concern.
I AM creating the life I want to live beginning now by taking action and asserting myself.
Have a blessed day,
Debra
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Posted in Affirmations, anxiety, Benefits of Journal Writing, Journal Prompts, journal writing, Positive living, Self-empowerment | anxiety, assertiveness, creating life you want, good night sleep, not caring about permission or approval of others, positive affirmations, regret, self confidence, squeaky wheel | Leave a commentGet out of your timid shell and live with confidence!
Published May 6, 2011 | 
Many of us with issues of shyness and anxiety are challenged with feelings of insecurity. We doubt ourselves. We beat ourselves up. We hold ourselves back out of fear and lack of confidence.
Can you imagine your life if you were completely confident in yourself most of the time? How would things be different for you? Who would you have relationships with and what would the quality of these connections be? How would your career be? Would you still be doing what you are doing now or be doing something different? How would you feel and who would be staring back at you as you gaze or pass by a mirror, hmm……?
Here are some ideas to get out of your timid little shell and be COCK-SURE confident of yourself:
1. Stand tall.
2. Walk briskly with long strides and with a sense of purpose.
3. Visualize success in your relationships, work life, etc.
4. Know, and really KNOW what you are capable of. There really is no one else out there like you. How cool is that?
5. Breathe deeply a lot.
6. Drink lot’s of water
7. Eat well
8. Exercise
9. Do what you can to promote a good night’s sleep.
10. Play and work on your strengths. Why struggle at things when you can better spend your time at things you are good at? You will enjoy yourself more and experience greater success at your ease.
Alright, big stuff. Have a great weekend and let em have it!
Cheers!
Debra
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