To live a well balanced, rewarding life of our dreams by day and sleep restfully at night.
I am a closet introvert: dealing with social anxiety
Published December 11, 2011 | People generally find me to be friendly. I smile. I am approachable and sometimes even outgoing.
What many people don’t know is that I am a closet introvert. What do I mean by this? For me, it means:
1. I don’t enjoy large parties.
2. I need a lot of quiet time by myself.
3. I will get anxious after a large social event.
4. It is hard found me to relax and be myself when I have to be “on” with a lot of people I don’t know very well.
This does not mean that I don’t like people, for I do! I like to socialize, just on a smaller and less frequent scale (a little bit of socializing goes a long way for me).
Basically, I get more energy, do my best work, and feel my most centered when I am by myself or among a few people whom I feel close to (my husband or daughter for instance).
If you can relate to this perhaps you are an introvert too.
I am here to say that IT IS OKAY TO BE AN INTROVERT!
I have to remind myself of this from time to time because we live in a society that tends to favor extroverts.
This time of year can be especially stressful for those of us who are not the most extroverted.
My strategy for this holiday season:
I plan to enjoy my friends and family. I will not over schedule us. If we get invited to a holiday gathering that I would rather not attend it is okay to say no. Why over commit to social events during the holidays (or any time of year, really)? I think out of a sense of duty perhaps…
Many of us closet introvert types are also people pleasers and it is hard to say no.
Say this to yourself: “I can say no!”
Say yes to the events and people that really matter.
I believe there is a balance between being a hermit and over extending ourselves. It is up to to find that fine line.
I wish you a very happy holiday season!
Debra
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Seventeen things to let go of to get a good night sleep
Published September 7, 2011 | 
To get a good night sleep, here are 17 things to let go of as you turn off your light and put your head on your pillow:
1. Let go of any resentment you are feeling. Just let it go!
2. Any hurt feelings you may have. Let it go. You are safe. You are loved. You are enough. If you need to share something with your spouse or partner, do so. Have them listen. They can hold you. Then let it go. If you are feeling hurt by someone who is far away or not with you, consider writing a letter (just the process of writing itself will be healing). You may or may not decide to send it. Write it, let it go, and go to sleep.
3. Anger
4. Worry about what others are thinking of you. None of your business. Let the whole people pleasing thing go. You can’t please them all- never will.
5. Fear. Imagine the worst thing that can happen and the outcome. Then see yourself deal with it. Now, let it go.
6. Worrying about the future. No reality here. It doesn’t exist. Let it go!
7. Fretting and regretting the past. Again, this is not your reality. This is not your life. This is your mind wanting to play with your peace.
Let it go!
8. Your mile long to do list can be a real sleep thief. Before you turn in, Cross off everything except for maybe the 1,2, or 3 most important things on that list. Tell yourself that even if you just do one of those things the next day, you will have a wonderfully successful day and the rest of the items of the list don’t matter or can wait- yep, let them go!!
9. Criticism of others. It is easy to fall into the blame game. Know that we are all trying our best. Putting our energy into wanting to change others is only setting us up for disappointment and insomnia. It won’t do much for our relationships either. If you are tempted to think or say a critical thought about another, imagine them as an innocent five year old child.
10. Criticism of yourself. Don’t spend another tortured night beating yourself up. It is cruel. You don’t deserve it. Give yourself the love and peace you deserve. Let the critical self talk go. Now!
11. Inhibitions. Are you holding yourself back? Consider letting go of the voice that is always telling you “no”. Go to sleep tonight with a smile at the thought of doing things you want to do.
12. Let go of clutter, anything that no longer serves you.
13. Let go of perfectionism
14. Let go of over committing yourself or your family. Your kids don’t have to be involved in every extracurricular activity your community has to offer. You don’t have to bring work home.
15. Let go of needing to be in control all the time
16. Let go of high expectations. This can be exhausting! Let things be as they are. Let them go.
17.Let go of caring too much.
Let it go. Breathe. Let it go. Ahhh… Let it all go… Your life and peace of mind and getting a good night sleep are much more important than any of the nonsense listed above.
Good night.
In peace,
Debra
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Posted in anxiety, Family life, Getting a good night sleep, Happiness, insomnia, Positive living, Self-empowerment, stress, Tips to help insomnia, Visualization, worry | 
bringing work home, control, criticism, fear, going to bed angry, hurt feelings, letting go for a good night sleep, overcommitting, peace of mind, people pleasing, perfectionism, saying no, to do list, worrying | 
Leave a commentFinding your voice, part 2
Published August 8, 2011 | 
What does finding your voice mean to you?
For me, it means:
1. Not apologizing for being myself
2. Not being afraid to voice my opinions
3. Not being afraid to ask for what I am worth
4. Not being afraid to promote myself
5. Sharing with others the quirky way that I see things
6. Having the confidence to live an authentic life
7. asserting myself
8. Saying no when I don’t want to do something
9. Having more fun and joy in my life because I am not critiquing, judging, or silencing myself all of the time; in other words:
10. Not holding myself back because I am afraid of what others think!
How do you find your voice?
1. Journal writing: explore any fears you may have, do some creative writing, ask yourself some good questions…
2. Blogging: there is nothing like writing something that you know others are going to read. In time as you get more comfortable and confident, your true voice will begin to come out and shine!
3. Public speaking: Yes, this is a scary idea for many of us. Putting yourself out there will increase your confidence. I recommend attending a Toastmaster’s meeting. They have a great program that supports anybody who wants to improve their communication and leadership skills.
4. Challenge yourself regularly by trying new things and meeting new people.
5. Meditate and write down this affirmation: ” I Am enough” Say it, feel it, and believe it!
6. What do you say “yes” to?
7. It is okay to say no to things you don’t want to do. It is your plate. Don’t let others load it up for you with their demands and requests.
8. If you start to worry about what others think, realize that they are probably worrying about what others are thinking about them!
9. Sing in the shower
10. When you are home alone try some verbal chants when you are meditating. Simple “oms” work nicely. The vibration of your own voice is healing and quite empowering.
Have a blessed day!
Debra
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Posted in Affirmations, anxiety, Benefits of Journal Writing, Blogging, creative writing, Meditations, Positive living, Self-empowerment, worry | ask good questions, blogging, chanting oms, expressing yourself, finding your voice, journal writing, public speaking fear, saying no, saying yes, self confidence, singing in the shower, Toastmasters, worrying what others think | 1 CommentWhat are you making time for in your life? A journal writing exercise
Published February 10, 2011 | 
Time is a relative thing. For many of us, there never seems to be enough of it, does there? We live in a society of go go go and busy-ness. Days and weeks and months go by in a flash.
Are you happy with how you are spending your days? I think if we all focused on what is really most important and did those things first, we would feel better about the amount of time we have. If we are not (which may be many of us), then we may feel frustrated stressed that there never seems to be enough time.
Here’s a few questions for your journal writing time:
1. Describe an ideal day for yourself. How would you spend the day? What would you do? Who would you see? How do you feel?
2. If you only had six months left to live what changes would you make in your life?
3. What are some activities and obligations that you could take off your plate?
4. What do you want to say yes to?
5. Are you willing to say no to other things?
This is your life. YOUR TIME.. How will spend it?
Have a blessed day,
Debra : )
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