Anxiety can be caused by not asserting ourselves. Many of us are “nice” and as a result more timid than we would like to be. We give in to others’ wishes over our own and then later kick ourselves for not standing up and asserting our ideas, wishes, needs, etc. Over time anxiety and regret can take hold and this is not an optimal way to live.
Some of us may be more extroverted than others. That does not mean that we all don’t have a voice. What are some ways we can exercise and strengthen our “assertiveness muscle?”.
This morning I am going to encourage you to think about how you will assert yourself more in your daily life.
Today I have already set an intention to stand up for myself.
In my journal, I have jotted down a few ideas, such as:
1. Ask for help and support at work.
2. Express my opinions more verbally.
3. Promote myself and what I have to offer more
4. Don’t put up with bad behavior from others.
5. Believe in myself and know that the world needs to hear me.
6. I am living from a space of integrity and authenticity. What others’ think does not matter.
7. Do not ask for opinions or permission from others- simply take action.
8. Be a squeaky wheel if I need to be.
I will stop here. Your turn! In your journals, write down any ways that being timid and not taking action for yourself has affected your life. Note some ideas for you to assert yourself more.
Positive affirmations help as well. You can write things like:
I AM strong.
I AM confident.
I AM important.
The World needs to hear me.
What others think does not matter or is none of my concern.
I AM creating the life I want to live beginning now by taking action and asserting myself.
Have a blessed day,
During times of my life when I have tossed and turned during the night, my mind often has been plagued with thoughts of regret. I was doing this even as a much younger woman in my twenties, possibly even my teens. What I have learned now is that if we are stuck in this kind of “woulda, coulda, shoulda” game with ourselves, we are not in the present. We are not being very kind to ourselves if we are torturing ourselves with regret.
I recommend we be mindful of two things:
1. Be present
2. Live our lives fully so that we never need to wonder “what might have been”
Just this awareness of being in the Now has helped me so much whenever I am stressed about anything – but particularly when I am having fearful thinking about my past or future. Feelings of regret are based from fear or shame about the past. The kindest thing that we can do for ourselves is to forgive the past: ourselves, others, and any circumstances associated with any bad memories. Let it go. Poof! It is a done deal. The past and memories we associate with it need never have power and control over us again.
Whenever I find myself thinking and feeling regretful about the past I tell myself “cancel” and turn my thinking into something I am feeling thankful for in my present life. Gratitude really works wonders here.
There are times that we are for whatever reason, feeling sad and melancholy (the weather, hormones, the anniversary of a sad event, etc.). When this happens to me I just have a good cry. There is something very therapeutic about crying. I will sometimes cry, not really even knowing why I am crying. But like a cloud passing by, the cry comes and goes. And then it is done. Then I breathe deeply and tap into what I am thankful for in my present life.
Living our lives fully:
I sure don’t want to be an old lady on my deathbed regretting anything about my life! The only way I can my preventing that from happening is to live my life authentically. Live the life of my dreams.
This would be a wonderful journal exercise. Get out your journal and think about how you want to live your life here on out.
There is a saying out there that goes something like: “Hapiness means never having to say you are sorry .” I would add, or ever regretting anything and thinking or sighing to yourself “what might have been”.
If we are in the now as much as possible and taking steps to create the lives we really are intended to live, I do believe we will have more peaceful minds and better sleep at night.
Debra : )