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The sweet daily dozen: do these everyday for a happy marriage and great night of sleep
Published October 11, 2011 | 
There is nothing better than marital bliss and harmony with your spouse or significant other. If we feel loved and secure in our most important
relationships we are most likely going to sleep better at night.
In that loving spirit I offer a dozen ideas tonight (six for each partner):
For men
1. If your wife is tired, offer to cook dinner or rub her shoulders and back after dinner.
2. Don’t take anything she says or does personally.
3. Look at her and tell her something you appreciate about her.
4. Ask about her day.
5. Hold her.
6. Tell her you love her.
For women
1. If your husband is tired, give him his space.
2. Cook a nice dinner.
3. Smile and be loving (even if you don’t feel like it, do it anyway).
4. Say something encouraging to him about his business or career.
5. Tell him something you appreciate that he has done for you or around the house lately.
6. Tell him you love him.
Have a blessed evening,
Debra
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Here’s why I had a great night of sleep last night
Published July 21, 2011 | 
Like many of you, I am an ambitious, creative type of person. Ideas fascinate me. I am intellectually curious and always thinking about things and new ideas. This in itself is not a bad thing. However, where I get myself into trouble is when I either go into my past, project into the future with my thinking, or put so much on my plate that I end up overwhelming myself and my brain wants to explode or shut down. This is not the best recipe for a restful night of sleep.
The title of this post refers to the fact that I slept great last night. And I did! Here is why: I decided to give myself and my mind a break and just focus on The NOW. Very simple. I have this one moment. I don ‘t have to worry about what I need to accomplish this summer before the new school year begins. I don’t have to have the meaning of life all figured out. I don’t have to fret about the mistakes I’ve made or stressing about my mile long to do list….
I just have now, this moment. It can be used to do nothing (which is quite blissful when I permit myself to do nothing). Or, it can be used to do one thing: One task, One activity- not multiple tasks. This is very liberating. One day at a time and one step at a time thinking removes the enormous burden of thinking we have to have it all figured out (and not just this moment all figured out but the next five years or rest of our lives figured out- ugh! I get a headache thinking of that kind of pressure).
My bedside reading last night consisted of reading from the great classic, How To Stop Worrying And Start Living by Dale Carnegie.
I would like to share a few nuggets from Mr. Carnegie’s book with you:
1. “Shut the iron doors on the past and the future. Live in Day-tight compartments” (P.11)
2. “Think”, said Dante, “that this day will never dawn again” today is our most precious possession. It is our only sure possession.(P.10)
3. “Every day is a new life to a wise man” (P.8)
4. “One step enough for me”, taken from a church hymn (P.4)
5. “Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand” ~ Thomas Carlyle (P.1)
6. “Have no thought (anxiety) for the morrow” ~ Jesus (Pages1-2)
In Peace,
Debra
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Posted in anxiety, Depression, Getting a good night sleep, Happiness, insomnia, Positive living, Self-empowerment, stress, Tips to help insomnia | 
anxiety, being present, Dale Carnegie, good night sleep, ideas, letting go of past, letting of future, over thinking, peace, stress, The Now, worry | 
Leave a commentFive things that make me feel free: a freedom journal writing exercise
Published July 4, 2011 | 
In honor of the Fourth of July, I offer a simple journal exercise of writing a list of things that make you feel free. My list today would begin like this:
What makes me feel free:
1. Not worrying about anything.
2. Time to do what I want to do: (write, exercise, spend time with family, etc.)
3. A good night’s sleep
4. Feeling focused with a sense of purpose
5. The fact that I am blessed to live in a country where I am free to move about, use the internet and pretty much write about what I want, wear what I want, practice the religion of my choice, etc.
Your turn:
What makes you feel free? Write a list in your journal and then a good practice would be to write “thank you” after each idea.
What we appreciate appreciates.
I appreciate being free!
Enjoy a blessed day of freedom
Debra
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5 simple ways to cultivate calm in your life (for contented days and restful nights)
Published June 15, 2011 | 
Here are five ways to cultivate calm in your life for happier days and more restful nights…
1. Choose love over having to be right.
2. Slow down and move at an easy pace. Why rush?
3. Do one task at a time.
4. Focus on the things that are most important.
5. Give yourself permission to say no.
Have a blessed day and peaceful night,
Debra
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Snoring partner? Don’t get angry, just communicate and have a plan.
Published June 7, 2011 | 
We all need and deserve a good night sleep. That can be difficult when our sleeping partner snores. Without communicating and coming up with a plan together, snoring can come between the two of you. Lack- of- sleep-grumpiness, resentment building up, frustration and blame- these are not things that support a home environment of harmony, love, peace, and restful sleep.
So, what do you do (or not do)?
1. Talk to your partner about his or her snoring. Don’t kick them or yell at them in the middle of the night…(as much as you may want to).
2. Don’t leave the bedroom huffing and silently resenting your partner- you need a plan…
3.Research your options.. Consult with your doctor, sleep specialist, or dentist.
4. Until you find out what works, buy some earplugs and if they don’t work…
5. Decide ahead of time that when the snoring starts up one of you goes into another bedroom or couch, etc. No hard feelings. You both need your sleep.
The key for peace and a good night sleep for you both is communicating and having a plan. Do not harbor resentment which is so toxic for any relationship.
Good night and good luck!
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Gentle Nudging: a prayer for this morning
Published May 26, 2011 | 
Some of our more popular posts here at The warm Milk Journal are the prayers and meditations. Recently, I have received requests for more prayers. This site is not a “religious” site. Although I was raised Jewish, my spiritual beliefs are a bit more eclectic these days. I do believe there are many different paths to peace, love, and connection with the Divine and each other.
No matter your faith or religious background, prayer and meditation can play an important role in living a balanced life and sleeping more restfully at night (the mission of The warm Milk Journal). With that goal in mind, I will publish these spiritually oriented posts on a regular basis. Please know they are only to inspire and nurture you. They are not intended to promote a particular faith or religion.
Gentle Nudging…. a prayer for this morning.
Dear God,
Please nudge me gently today.
I need some loving guidance to:
Be easy on myself-
Do what I can with this day but then
give myself permission to let the rest go by evening.
Please send love to our community leaders
and educators
and the children-
We need love and support more than ever right now.
Please help to see that I Am more than what I do during my work day,
that life is precious just as it is-
no matter what circumstances are actually occuring.
I thank you in advance.
Amen.
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10 simple tips to live healthfully and sleep well
Published May 14, 2011 | 
The better we take care of ourselves, the better sleep we will enjoy at night. Here are a few simple ways we can live healthfully:
1. Drink a lot of water.
2. Breathe deeply
3. Exercise
4. Connect with other people
5. Spend time outdoors
6. Nurture your spiritual life
7. Go with the flow more rather than let little things upset you.
8. Declutter and surround yourself with essentials that nourish and delight you (this can be people, things,job-related)
9. Play and laugh
10. Make love be your guiding compass.
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Strengthening your “assertiveness muscle” for less anxiety, more confidence, and sounder sleep.
Published May 10, 2011 | 
Anxiety can be caused by not asserting ourselves. Many of us are “nice” and as a result more timid than we would like to be. We give in to others’ wishes over our own and then later kick ourselves for not standing up and asserting our ideas, wishes, needs, etc. Over time anxiety and regret can take hold and this is not an optimal way to live.
Some of us may be more extroverted than others. That does not mean that we all don’t have a voice. What are some ways we can exercise and strengthen our “assertiveness muscle?”.
This morning I am going to encourage you to think about how you will assert yourself more in your daily life.
Today I have already set an intention to stand up for myself.
In my journal, I have jotted down a few ideas, such as:
1. Ask for help and support at work.
2. Express my opinions more verbally.
3. Promote myself and what I have to offer more
4. Don’t put up with bad behavior from others.
5. Believe in myself and know that the world needs to hear me.
6. I am living from a space of integrity and authenticity. What others’ think does not matter.
7. Do not ask for opinions or permission from others- simply take action.
8. Be a squeaky wheel if I need to be.
I will stop here. Your turn! In your journals, write down any ways that being timid and not taking action for yourself has affected your life. Note some ideas for you to assert yourself more.
Positive affirmations help as well. You can write things like:
I AM strong.
I AM confident.
I AM important.
The World needs to hear me.
What others think does not matter or is none of my concern.
I AM creating the life I want to live beginning now by taking action and asserting myself.
Have a blessed day,
Debra
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Posted in Affirmations, anxiety, Benefits of Journal Writing, Journal Prompts, journal writing, Positive living, Self-empowerment | anxiety, assertiveness, creating life you want, good night sleep, not caring about permission or approval of others, positive affirmations, regret, self confidence, squeaky wheel | Leave a commentFive things that cause anxiety and insomnia and five things that help bring peace and restful sleep
Published April 17, 2011 | 
Doing these five things leads to anxiety and insomnia:
1. Worrying about what others think
2. Resentment
3. Fear of disapproval
4. Overstimulation from violent or exciting movies, television shows, and news.
5. Not feeling confident about yourself.
These five things bring you peace and restful sleep:
1. Forgiveness
2. Releasing worries.
3. Not caring about what others think.
4. Loving yourself.
5. Having silent time before bed: gentle stretching, reading relaxing books, meditation, etc.
Which would you rather have this night and every night?
Goodnight.
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A bridge to good sleep (a bedtime verse for tonight)
Published March 16, 2011 | 
“Let every man praise the bridge that carries him over” ~ An English Proverb
A bridge to good sleep includes:
a day that is purposeful,
centered,
and joy-filled.
A bridge to good sleep would include
structures of peace
and confidence.
A bridge to good sleep would
provide strength
and security.
This bridge would connect a balanced day with
a peaceful night.
It would
take you on adventures,
and then transport you back home
to loved ones,
comfort,
good food, and
bed and pillows to sink into.
Good night and in peace,
Debra
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