Some of my worst nights I have ever had are nights when I have gone to bed upset with my spouse. Thankfully, it hasn’t happened too much recently. I have learned that the most important thing for my “beauty sleep” and over all well being is to have a loving and peaceful marriage. I can handle a lot: ups and downs on the job, challenging world events, etc. But if my husband is upset with me, I will not sleep. That is just a fact.
I have learned to make it a priority to have harmony in our home. One thing I love to do is to focus on what I love about my husband.
What we appreciate, appreciates. What we focus on grows.
Why not focus on what we love about our sweethearts rather than the things that are annoying us?
This makes a wonderful journal writing exercise!
What do I adore about my husband?
1. The way he looks and smiles at me.
4. Even during challenging times, he always stays positive and grounded.
5. His strength.
Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. ~Peter Ustinov
What a happy and holy fashion it is that those who love one another should rest on the same pillow. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
A special thanks to Fawn Weaver over at The Happy Wives Club where she dedicates her site to the importance of love and having a happy marriage. Awesome!
I am enjoying a peaceful night tonight because:
1. I have let the trials and tribulations of the day go.
2. I have not let the emotional outbursts of others affect me (a certain teenaged daughter who lives under my roof comes to mind).
3. I feel acknowledged and affirmed
4. I realize that what seemed so stressful and life ending twelve hours ago is gone. Feelings and emotions, like clouds, pass.. they really do. Nothing is stationary. Whatever is bothering you will pass. If events of the day are not pleasing you, then just wait… life is a pendulum and swings back and forth (which is why I don’t get too caught up with the politics of the day).
5. I choose to forgive myself when I slip up. The worst thing we can do to ourselves is stay stuck in shame. You are human. If you do something you are not particularly proud of, welcome to the human race. I know this is a hard one for us sweet people pleasers of the world. We just have to stop punishing ourselves. Shame and self loathing is the worst form of toxin. Let it go. Forgive yourself. You are precious. We all are doing our best with what we have at any given moment.
In Peace and much love to you,
Not sleeping well? Perhaps if we let go of:
2. caring so much about what others think of us,
4. worrying about the unknown future,
5. blaming (ourselves, our spouses, our jobs, society, the economy…),
Perhaps, just perhaps…
We may let go of these things long enough to experience true peace and a good night sleep.
There is nothing better than marital bliss and harmony with your spouse or significant other. If we feel loved and secure in our most important
relationships we are most likely going to sleep better at night.
In that loving spirit I offer a dozen ideas tonight (six for each partner):
1. If your wife is tired, offer to cook dinner or rub her shoulders and back after dinner.
2. Don’t take anything she says or does personally.
3. Look at her and tell her something you appreciate about her.
4. Ask about her day.
5. Hold her.
6. Tell her you love her.
1. If your husband is tired, give him his space.
2. Cook a nice dinner.
3. Smile and be loving (even if you don’t feel like it, do it anyway).
4. Say something encouraging to him about his business or career.
5. Tell him something you appreciate that he has done for you or around the house lately.
6. Tell him you love him.
Have a blessed evening,
Like many of you, I am an ambitious, creative type of person. Ideas fascinate me. I am intellectually curious and always thinking about things and new ideas. This in itself is not a bad thing. However, where I get myself into trouble is when I either go into my past, project into the future with my thinking, or put so much on my plate that I end up overwhelming myself and my brain wants to explode or shut down. This is not the best recipe for a restful night of sleep.
The title of this post refers to the fact that I slept great last night. And I did! Here is why: I decided to give myself and my mind a break and just focus on The NOW. Very simple. I have this one moment. I don ‘t have to worry about what I need to accomplish this summer before the new school year begins. I don’t have to have the meaning of life all figured out. I don’t have to fret about the mistakes I’ve made or stressing about my mile long to do list….
I just have now, this moment. It can be used to do nothing (which is quite blissful when I permit myself to do nothing). Or, it can be used to do one thing: One task, One activity- not multiple tasks. This is very liberating. One day at a time and one step at a time thinking removes the enormous burden of thinking we have to have it all figured out (and not just this moment all figured out but the next five years or rest of our lives figured out- ugh! I get a headache thinking of that kind of pressure).
My bedside reading last night consisted of reading from the great classic, How To Stop Worrying And Start Living by Dale Carnegie.
I would like to share a few nuggets from Mr. Carnegie’s book with you:
1. “Shut the iron doors on the past and the future. Live in Day-tight compartments” (P.11)
2. “Think”, said Dante, “that this day will never dawn again” today is our most precious possession. It is our only sure possession.(P.10)
3. “Every day is a new life to a wise man” (P.8)
4. “One step enough for me”, taken from a church hymn (P.4)
5. “Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand” ~ Thomas Carlyle (P.1)
6. “Have no thought (anxiety) for the morrow” ~ Jesus (Pages1-2)
In honor of the Fourth of July, I offer a simple journal exercise of writing a list of things that make you feel free. My list today would begin like this:
What makes me feel free:
1. Not worrying about anything.
2. Time to do what I want to do: (write, exercise, spend time with family, etc.)
3. A good night’s sleep
4. Feeling focused with a sense of purpose
5. The fact that I am blessed to live in a country where I am free to move about, use the internet and pretty much write about what I want, wear what I want, practice the religion of my choice, etc.
What makes you feel free? Write a list in your journal and then a good practice would be to write “thank you” after each idea.
What we appreciate appreciates.
I appreciate being free!
Enjoy a blessed day of freedom
Here are five ways to cultivate calm in your life for happier days and more restful nights…
1. Choose love over having to be right.
2. Slow down and move at an easy pace. Why rush?
3. Do one task at a time.
4. Focus on the things that are most important.
5. Give yourself permission to say no.
Have a blessed day and peaceful night,
We all need and deserve a good night sleep. That can be difficult when our sleeping partner snores. Without communicating and coming up with a plan together, snoring can come between the two of you. Lack- of- sleep-grumpiness, resentment building up, frustration and blame- these are not things that support a home environment of harmony, love, peace, and restful sleep.
So, what do you do (or not do)?
1. Talk to your partner about his or her snoring. Don’t kick them or yell at them in the middle of the night…(as much as you may want to).
2. Don’t leave the bedroom huffing and silently resenting your partner- you need a plan…
3.Research your options.. Consult with your doctor, sleep specialist, or dentist.
4. Until you find out what works, buy some earplugs and if they don’t work…
5. Decide ahead of time that when the snoring starts up one of you goes into another bedroom or couch, etc. No hard feelings. You both need your sleep.
The key for peace and a good night sleep for you both is communicating and having a plan. Do not harbor resentment which is so toxic for any relationship.
Good night and good luck!
Some of our more popular posts here at The warm Milk Journal are the prayers and meditations. Recently, I have received requests for more prayers. This site is not a “religious” site. Although I was raised Jewish, my spiritual beliefs are a bit more eclectic these days. I do believe there are many different paths to peace, love, and connection with the Divine and each other.
No matter your faith or religious background, prayer and meditation can play an important role in living a balanced life and sleeping more restfully at night (the mission of The warm Milk Journal). With that goal in mind, I will publish these spiritually oriented posts on a regular basis. Please know they are only to inspire and nurture you. They are not intended to promote a particular faith or religion.
Gentle Nudging…. a prayer for this morning.
Please nudge me gently today.
I need some loving guidance to:
Be easy on myself-
Do what I can with this day but then
give myself permission to let the rest go by evening.
Please send love to our community leaders
and the children-
We need love and support more than ever right now.
Please help to see that I Am more than what I do during my work day,
that life is precious just as it is-
no matter what circumstances are actually occuring.
I thank you in advance.
The better we take care of ourselves, the better sleep we will enjoy at night. Here are a few simple ways we can live healthfully:
1. Drink a lot of water.
2. Breathe deeply
4. Connect with other people
5. Spend time outdoors
6. Nurture your spiritual life
7. Go with the flow more rather than let little things upset you.
8. Declutter and surround yourself with essentials that nourish and delight you (this can be people, things,job-related)
9. Play and laugh
10. Make love be your guiding compass.