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forgiveness

Choosing love and forgiveness for a good night sleep and peaceful state of mind

Being in an angry or fearful state of mind do not set us up well for a good night sleep.

Instead, whenever possible, choose love and forgiveness.

Some ideas to help:

1. Instead of getting into that silly argument with your spouse, recognize it for what it is and let it go. Remember all the kind things he did for this past weekend for Mother’s Day… choose love.

2. Things from the past, release.

3. Affirm:

I Am safe

I Am love

In Peace,

Debra

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Morning Prayer

As I drink my coffee and set out to begin my day, I would like to offer my simple morning prayer:

Dear God,

Thank for this new day. I feel fresh with a rested body and a mind open to new possibilities.

I am thankful for my health, my sweet husband, kids, and cats…

I am thankful for our beautiful home here in North Florida.

I am thankful for my job and my many other projects that give me a sense of purpose, a creative outlet, an income, and many opportunities to help, inspire, and grow myself.

Please forgive me when I lose patience with myself and others. Please help to forgive myself.

Thank you God for this new day.

Debra

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    Five things that cause anxiety and insomnia and five things that help bring peace and restful sleep

    Doing these five things leads to anxiety and insomnia:

    1. Worrying about what others think

    2. Resentment

    3. Fear of disapproval

    4. Overstimulation from violent or exciting movies, television shows, and news.

    5. Not feeling confident about yourself.

    These five things bring you peace and restful sleep:

    1. Forgiveness

    2. Releasing worries.

    3. Not caring about what others think.

    4. Loving yourself.

    5. Having silent time before bed: gentle stretching, reading relaxing books, meditation, etc. 

    Which would you rather have this night and every night?

    Goodnight.

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    Feeling a bit unloving or upset? Eight ways to getting back to a place of love.

    To be centered in love, to make love our guiding compass is a worthwhile goal.

    If we are living our lives centered in love we are:

    1. More patient

    2. More kind

    3. Feel more connected to God

    4. Enjoy more intimacy with others.

    5. Enjoy better relationships with family, friends, and colleagues.

    6. We smile more.

    7. We are healthier.

    8. We sleep better at night.

    9. We experience less anxiety.

    10. We make better decisions.

    11. We feel more satisfied with our life in all areas.

    All wonderful benefits, to be sure.  Alas, it is not always easy to be centered in love all of the time.  We are imperfect humans. We all have our flesh wounds from the past that may be triggered at some point. We have our “hot buttons”. We just plain have our off days when we are not doing or being our best. What then?

    If we can catch ourselves and become aware of the fact that we are not in the most loving state, that is a fantastic start.

    Then, forgive ourselves. We are human. We are doing our best. Let it go and start over.

    Here are a few ideas that are helping me to stay centered in love (most of the time) or when I get off the path a bit, help to nudge me back on it….

    1.  Breathe deeply (especially when I feel an upset coming on…)

    2.  If I am upset with someone, try to remember that my anger or hurt feelings probably has more to do with an old issue from my past than with this person presently with me…

    3. Appreciate, appreciate, appreciate.  Gratitude is the best love elixir around, And it’s free!

    4. Forgive frequently. If we permit resentment to take the place of forgiveness we are killing love and so much good we can have in our lives and in our most important relationships.

    5. Ask frequently, what is most important here?

    6. If you find yourself really upset with somebody, try to imagine them as an innocent five year old. We really all are doing our best in our own way.  We all have our moments when we say the wrong thing, step on someone’s toes, do something that could be perceived as insensitive or selfish. Most of these acts prove that we are human and not perfect. 99.9% of the time it is not intentional. We do not intend to hurt someone else. So the message? …

    7. DON’T TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY. And it is worth repeating,

    8. FORGIVE, and return to a state of love.

    Have a blessed day,

    Debra : )

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    Do you choose anxiety or peace?

    Anxiety or peace?

    Worrying  about stuff or shrugging it off?

    Being unforgiving and harsh on yourself or accepting and loving yourself?

    Winning the argument or letting the other be right? 

    Conditional love or unconditional love?

    Excessive consumption and debt or living within your means and creating wealth?

    Hurried and stressed or calm and relaxed?

    Dis-ease or at your ease?

    Living a life of duty and obligation or one from passion and purpose?

    Bored and drifting or focused and excited? 

    Anxiety or Peace? Your choice!

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    What brings you peace?

    Eleven things that bring me peace:

    1. Knowing I am loved
    2. Knowing I am doing my best so how can anybody (including God and myself expect more than that?)
    3. Accepting others unconditionally instead of wanting to change them.
    4. Knowing I am on a good path.
    5. Faith
    6. Love
    7. Forgiveness
    8. Friends and connecting with others
    9. Doing good work
    10. Having down time to take care of myself
    11. My home

    Your turn: what brings you peace?

    Debra : )

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    Ease, not dis-ease: Going easy on yourself and others

    Being easy on yourself and others can be easier said than done. We tend to get attached to expectations of certain outcomes and when they don’t happen we get disappointed. We are driven. We are on the go and have goals. We are working hard and achieving.

    If we are too hard on ourselves and others in our lives we can get very stressed, burned out, cranky, irritable, and just miserable. We won’t like our demanding selves very much and people won’t be attracted to us either.

    We can still achieve our goals but be easy on ourselves and others. This is what I mean:

    1. Accept the fact that we are all human. Perfectionism is not a healthy trait. Mistakes will be made.
    2. Be flexible.
    3. Breathe deep and accept what is
    4. Know that your in box will never be empty (or not for long anyhow) and be okay with that.
    5. Practice acceptance.
    6. Practice forgiveness whenever possible.
    7. Choose words carefully
    8. Don’t take things personally.
    9. Know that we are all doing our best.
    10. Smile
    11. Be patient
    12. Don’t multi-task. It’s better to focus and do one thing well than do many things with mediocrity and a scattered brain.

    Being easy and gentle on yourself and others will result in more peace, greater health, and probably a longer life.

    You will also more than likely get more done on your to do lists and accomplish your most important goals when you feel less pressure and you are living life at your ease.

    Debra : )

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    Loving the six year child in yourself and others: a meditation on forgiveness

    Feelings of anger, hurt, and resentment hurt us if we hold onto them. The best way to truly let these feelings go is through forgiveness. If we are really upset with someone else (or ourselves) this is not an easy task. Forgiveness is not easy but with practice and using certain techniques you can do it. It is essential that you do it for your health and well being.

    I want to share with you one simple technique that I learned some years ago and it works. Sit down and get very relaxed. Close your eyes and breathe. Just be still and focus on your breath for several minutes. When you are ready, think of the person who hurt you, who you are angry at, or who you have been resenting for a long time. This person could be anybody: an ex-spouse, a parent, a politician or leader, an employer, friend, rapist, yourself, etc.

    You have your reasons for feeling the way you do about this person. They are valid. Now, however, it is time to release the anger and hurt. Imagine this person as the six year old child that he or she was at one time. Picture that adorable innocent child looking at you. Look at his eyes. Look at her little arms and bashful smile… Imagine this child needing your love and understanding. In your imagination give them a hug and embrace them. Whisper to them that you forgive them and you wish them well. Then let them go.

    Do this as often as it takes until you feel healed. You will in time. This is a very powerful exercise.

    Debra : )

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    A Rainy day journal writing session: Ten writing prompts

    The sky is dark and thunder is rumbling here this afternoon in Northeast Florida. It’s a good time to sip on my tea and write.

    Here are ten writing prompts for your next journal writing session when you have a rainstorm happening or anytime you are ready for some quiet, reflective time.

    1. List down as many things as you can think of that make you smile.
    2. Who needs forgiveness in your life?
    3. What is a recent success you have enjoyed?
    4. Name five book titles that you think are absolute must reads. Why?
    5. Name five movies that are your all time favorites.
    6. Is there a person in your life who could benefit from a little loving attention? (a child, an elderly neighbor, etc.)
    7. Look around your room, choose an object, and write a story based around that object.
    8. What has been one of the worst fears in your life? How would it feel to no longer have that fear?
    9. Brainstorm some adventures you can have with your spouse or significant other (this would be a fun one to do together or surprise him or her!)
    10. What place would you most like to visit?

    Have fun!

    Debra : )

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    When it’s raining outside, drink wine (or make lemonade): Ten ideas on dealing with disappointment

    Sometimes life just doesn’t happen the way we want it to: people aren’t acting the way we want, circumstances come about that mess up our expectations and plans. As a younger woman, I had a real hard time with this. I am learning now how important being flexible and going with the flow really are. In a recent post we explored the idea of how we react to circumstances is more important than the events or circumstances themselves. I really believe this. Once we get this, our lives are so much more peaceful and happy.

    Ten Ideas to consider:

    1. If something unexpected occurs, try not to automatically get upset about it. It may not be what we were planning or expecting, but is it really so bad? Breathe….be calm. Is there another way to look at it?
    2. Another person’s choices or behavior is really out of  our control. If we let their choices or behavior upset us in anyway we are giving them too much power over us.
    3. Stretch and enjoy the flexibility of your healthy and beautiful body. Know that your mind and spirit can be that flexible too!
    4. Lower expectations and you will be disappointed less often.
    5. Know that most people (like your boss, parents, spouse, friends) really are doing their best with what they have.
    6. Practice forgiveness, acceptance, and release. Forgiveness is such an important thing to learn how to do for your own health and well being.
    7. When struggling with disappointment, breathing and taking a walk are always excellent options.
    8. Think before you say anything to someone you are disappointed with or angry with. Words can and do hurt. Choose words carefully when in a negative state- or better yet, don’t talk at all for a while.
    9. Pet your cat or dog often. Animals are wonderful mentors in just being in the now and not letting too much stuff bother them.
    10. What we resist persists. Just try going with it, whatever “it” may be. Let someone else be in control or let things and people be what they are. Feel how that acceptance feels in your body. That is peace.

    Debra : )

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