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Accepting Ourselves
Published May 29, 2010 | One big source of anxiety can be when we are not accepting ourselves. Do you ever put pressure on yourself or beat yourself up for :
not being thin enough? outgoing enough? successful enough? being rich enough? being too old? being too young? etc. etc.
We all do this from time to time and I am here to tell you that we need to stop with the critical self talk! It is a very unkind and unhealthy practice. Many of us are sweet, “nice” people who would never dream of being unkind to someone else. So why would we be hurtful to ourselves? That makes no sense.
I’ve spent years doing this to myself, feeling like I had to be perfect. When I felt that I wasn’t being perfect (didn’t get that A, was being too shy at a party etc.), I would feel very upset with myself. It really came out mostly at night when I was trying to sleep. I would toss and turn and replay the ways of my imperfection over and over again. Well, perfectionism sucks! So does the resulting anxiety and insomnia that so often comes with it.
It is truly time to make peace with ourselves here and now. It is time to practice acceptance. Be in the now. Stop fretting and worrying about some perceived misstep or misdeed from the past. Just quit it, aready!
Things to try to be more accepting of ourselves:
- Remind ourselves that we are enough, just as we are.
- Remind ourselves that others are not busy thinking about us as we are imagining they are (they are too busy with their lives or being preoccupied with what we or others are thinking about them).
- Get out our journals and write down all of our talents, strengths, and achievements. We truly are remarkable.
- Do not permit critical self talk. Every time you start, imagine that you are slitting your throat. It is that harmful.
- Perfectionism is highly over rated. It doesn’t really exist. Even people that we think are living perfect lives (neighbors in the beautiful oceanfront mansion, celebrities we admire etc.) are human and have their own challenges just like you and me.
Being more accepting of yourself will greatly help your peace of mind, reduce anxiety, and restore good sleeping patterns. It is important and necessary work. Doing things like taking sleep medication may help but at best, it is a short term solution- a band aid. Working on achieving peace of mind will give you much more lasting and real good nights of sleep.
Other things to try: meditation, breathing, and journal writing exercises. The Warm Milk Journal will continue to provide ideas to promote physical and mental health. I believe we sleep our best and live a higher quality of life when we are accepting of ourselves and being the most centered we can be.
* Please note: I am not a doctor or medical practitioner of any kind. If you are currently on any kind of medication please don’t stop taking it because of something you read here. Always talk with your doctor before getting on or off medication related to sleep, anxiety, or other health issues.
Debra : )
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Dream Remembrance: a technique to try when you wake up in the middle of the night
Published May 19, 2010 | Many of us can fall asleep initially at night. Much of our insomnia challenges arise (myself included) when something wakes us up in the middle of the night. Wouldn’t it be just great to be able to fall right back to sleep after going to the bathroom, getting woken up by a noise, a light etc. ? Often what happens is that instead of going back to sleep, our minds start coming to life. Thoughts begin to churn. Once this thinking process takes root, we are doomed. The monkey mind has got us and sleep eludes us.
One technique to try before our minds take over is called dream remembrance. The idea is that whenever we wake up we are coming out of a dream (whether we realize it or not). If we can remember any details, we need to try to remember them. If we can cling to our dream, we greatly increase our chances of going back to sleep and the next REM cycle.
So simply put: if you wake up, focus on any dream you were having. Focus on your dream state. If you can’t remember any dreams, then just focus on your breathing until you fall back asleep. The main thing is we do not want our minds to start thinking conscious thoughts. In the middle of the night- in that semi-conscious state- they are most certainly going to be anxious, negative monkey mind thoughts. We want to keep the monkey away!
I personally do dream remembrance and it truly does work. With practice, it gets easier. I have gotten to a point now where I can access my dream state even when I am still awake, but getting sleepy, and going into that semi-conscious state…it is really neat. I sometimes remember dreams I had many years ago. Give it a try.
Resource: idea for this post was inspired by a short interview with Woodsen Merrell, M.D., Chairman of Integrative Medicine at Beth Israel Medical Center and co-author of Power Up: Unleash Your Natural Energy, Power Up Your Health, and Feel 10 Years Younger (May 2010 issue of Body and Soul Magazine http://www.wholeliving.com)
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When you wake up in the middle of the night
Published May 13, 2010 | Many of us can go to sleep initially well but then get woken up for a variety of reasons: bladders, snoring partners, pets, street noise, lights, etc. It is a frustrating experience to not then be able to go back to sleep. The more we stress about it, the longer we lie there awake. I can’t even tell you how often that has happened to me.
Things to try:
- Go to bed wearing ear plugs
- Go to bed wearing an eye patch
- Invest in heavy drapes for bedroom windows
- If you get up to go to the bathroom, try not to turn on any lights or flush toilet
- If pets are waking you, work on retraining them or do not let them have access to the bedroom
- Snoring partner? ear plugs, pillow over the head works pretty well. Encourage partner to go to doctor in case it is something serious that is causing their snoring like sleep apnea. They can wear breathe easy strips on their noses and experiment with sleeping in different positions.
- Try not to stress about the fact that you are awake. That only makes it worse. Don’t look at the clock.
- Meditate on something simple. Say the same thing over and over again until you drift off.
- If you have to, it is better to get up and read or write in your journal until you get sleepy again. There is nothing worse than just lying there in bed awake for hours.
- Do breathing exercises
- Do tension exercises
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"So- Hum": a simple meditation for better sleep
Published April 20, 2010 | 
Sometimes, the simpler an exercise the better. You can do this meditation lying in bed or sitting up in a relaxed position. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breath. Inhale. Exhale. When you inhale, begin to say or think “so”. When you exhale, begin to think “hum”. Keep doing this as long as you can. Other thoughts will drift into your mind. Treat them as passing clouds in the sky. Allow them to pass without giving them much attention. Continue to concentrate on your breathing and your mantra: “so” inhale, “hum” while exhaling.
After some time you may stop with the mantra and just breathe. I have used this mantra before and it really does work to make me sleepy.
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5 More meditations for peace of mind
Published April 9, 2010 | 1. Repeat to yourself: “I am supported” Breathe. Repeat
2. Repeat to yourself: “I am love” Breathe. Repeat
3. Repeat to yourself: “I am loved” Breathe. Repeat
4. Repeat to yourself: “I am safe”Breathe. Repeat
5. If you have been stressed about a situation or relationship with a person in your life, simply tell yourself:
“I am done!”. Believe it. Repeat it. Breathe
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Posted in Meditations | 
breathing, god, insomnia, love, mantras, meditation, peace, sleep, support | 
Leave a commentA Simple Meditation For Peace
Published April 9, 2010 | Breathe in and say to yourself: “I accept God” (or peace, the universe, whatever has spiritual relevance for you).
Breathe out and say to yourself: “I need nothing”
Repeat
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Breathe Deep
Published February 26, 2010 | 
When we are in an anxious state we often have quick, shallow breathing. I have been in this state and end up almost hyperventillating. Be aware of your breathing and slow it down. Full, deep breathing. Relax.
Tense and release all your muscle groups. Breathe.
You are safe. Breathe.
Visualize all the colors of the rainbow. Breathe.
You are loved. Breathe.
You are supported. Breathe.
You are peace. Breathe.
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