To live a well balanced, rewarding life of our dreams by day and sleep restfully at night.
It was one of those sleepless nights… five things that may have kept me up last night
Published September 4, 2012 | 
Fortunately most nights I do pretty well. So long as I do the things we talk about regularly here at The warm Milk Journal (take care of myself, stay centered, etc.) I sleep well.
Last night was not one of those nights. Every now and then I do have a really bad night. What causes these sleepless nights? It will be different for everyone. For me, a list of reasons may include:
1. Watching a violent or overly exciting movie or TV show right before bed (my husband and I watched Men of Valor last night).
2. Active bladder
3. My husband being restless himself
4. Thinking about my work day (especially tough coming off a relaxing three day Labor Day weekend) Sigh…
5. Feeling too warm
Now, I don’t feel terrific this morning. I will be leaving for work in a little while. I know, however, I will be okay. One night of insomnia won’t kill me. I will, undoubtedly sleep well tonight.
If you have these kind of sleepless nights frequently I encourage you to get some help. Start by keeping a sleep journal or diary to see if any patterns surface as to why you are having trouble sleeping.
If you or a partner are staying awake because of snoring you will want to visit your doctor to rule out any more serious health issues (such as sleep apnea). My husband last year visited an ear nose and throat surgeon. His health was fine (thank goodness) but he was sleeping so loudly he ended up on the couch most nights. This doctor recommended a product called Pure Sleep and it worked! (*note, I am not receiving any compensation for recommending this product to you. My husband and I have experienced first hand how well it works).
If you have not been sleeping well lately, I really do feel for you. It is not fun. Please know you are not alone. Try not to stress about your insomnia (that will only cause more anxiety and make things worse). You can check out our resources section for additional support and information.
May you have a blessed day an restful night!
In peace,
Debra
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Being free from anxiety means these ten things…
Published July 20, 2012 | 
Yesterday, we wrote in our journals about what being free from anxiety would mean to us.
Here are a few things that surfaced for me when I did my journal writing…
What Freedom from Anxiety means to me:
1. Saying yes to getting together with friends more frequently
2. Being able to have people over to my house and actually enjoy the evening
3. Not constantly worrying about whether I said the right or wrong thing to somebody.
4. not worrying about how emails I sent will be interpreted.
5. Confidently going for my dreams
6. Getting a good night sleep at night
7. Genuine smiling when I want to rather than the phony people pleasing mask
8. Being friendlier to people
9. Not being afraid to be successful in business
10. Being present more
More than anything, freedom from anxiety is peace.
I wish us all a peaceful evening.
Coming attraction for next post:
We want to be free from anxiety. So how do we go about doing that? (feel free to comment in with your ideas)!
In Peace,
Debra
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Time to retire and want a good night sleep? Retire worry tonight by doing these five things!
Published July 11, 2012 | 
A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow. ~Charlotte Brontë
Worry has robbed many of us a good night sleep. Do these five things to retire worry tonight:
1. Write a list of things you are worried about in your journal.
2. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell your reflection what you are worried about.
3. If the thing you are worried about is something you can take action on, come up with some steps to take care of it. Just having a plan will put your mind at ease.
4. If you are worried about something that you have no control over, release and bless it. “Let go and let God” so to speak. Relieve yourself of this burden now.
5. Have a bedtime routine in place. No work in the bedroom. When you put your pajamas on, brush the teeth, and turn down the covers, let those actions become a conditioned signal for your body AND mind that it is now time to let the day go and rest.
Sweet Dreams!
Debra
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Perfectionism is overrated: Getting over people pleasing.
Published June 17, 2012 | 
I’ve always admired and envied those people that were confident, ballsy, and just didn’t give a rip about what others thought. These are the types that just say what’s on their minds, knew what they wanted to major in in college, tend to do well in business, and (I’m assuming) sleep peacefully at night.
Me, on the other hand… I always had to be “perfect little Debbie”. I sat on the front row in my classroom always with my hand shooting up with the correct answer for my teacher. It was important to me that my teachers adored me. I had to make straight As (an A- would have been absolutely devastating).
For those of you who have been visiting here a while you know I am naturally an introvert and have been challenged with social anxiety my whole life. The funny thing is if you met me you probably would never guess. I am not a wall-flower, am quite friendly, and on the surface can appear very outgoing. It would not be until I am home from meeting you that I might stay awake at night worrying about the impression I gave to you…
Well, “sweet perfect little Debbie” is now 45 years old and is figuring some things out for herself…
It really doesn’t matter what others think.
I Am enough and perfect just as I am.
It is quite fun and exhilarating to stretch myself and do things that are outside of my comfort zone.
If any of you out there can relate to this, I encourage you to stretch a bit. Don’t worry so much…
Have fun and do what you want (providing you are not breaking any laws)!
For as far as I know this life is what we’ve got. And we’ve heard it be said and it’s true:
LIFE IS NOT A DRESS REHEARSAL!!!
With love,
Debra
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Three affirmations to keep you balanced and less anxious
Published May 26, 2012 | 
These are three affirmations that I use to help keep me feel centered. I affirm them when I take walks, ride my bike, write in my journal, and when I first turn off the light and go to sleep at night.
They are:
I Am safe
I have enough
I Am enough!
In Peace,
Debra
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A big goal of the Warm Milk Journal: For you to know that you are not alone!
Published May 17, 2012 | 
Three Goals of The Warm Milk Journal:
1. If you are having trouble sleeping at night, for you to know that you are not alone.
2. If you have anxiety, for you to know that you are not alone.
3. Life getting you stressed out? We want you to know that you are not alone!
Remember that whole six degrees of separation idea? We really have so much in common with one another. Add on the miraculous things we can do to connect with one another thanks to today’s technology… nobody needs to be alone in this day and age. Period.
We are here for you. We are here for each other.
Feel free to comment and share your experience and challenges.
If nothing else, I hope that when you visit The Warm Milk Journal you will find a place of love and support.
Sweet dreams to you tonight and every night,
Debra
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Imagining and accepting the Worst: Stopping Anxiety In It’s Tracks Part two
Published April 23, 2012 | 
This evening we are going to tap into a little more of Dale Carnegie’s wisdom. I would like to share with you a few nuggets I got from his second chapter out of How To Stop Worrying and Start Living
1. When you are stewing and worrying about something, ask yourself: “What is the worst that could happen”?
2. Accept the worst. Yes, it sounds a bit counter intuitive but actually force yourself to imagine the worst and then actually accept it (in your mind) as if it happened… you see if you really accept this worst case scenario you really have nothing left to lose now, do you?
3. From this (low) acceptance point, work on improving things.
*True peace of mind = accepting the worst.
Face the worst and peace will follow!
In peace,
Debra
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Classic Dale Carnegie wisdom to stop anxiety in its tracks.
Published April 22, 2012 | 
Good morning friends!
One book I have owned for many years is Dale Carnegie’s How To Stop Worrying and Start Living. There is so much simple wisdom in this little book.
Here are some nuggets from the first chapter:
Live in day-tight compartments… do what clearly lies ahead, not at a distance.
Focus on today, have no anxiety for tomorrow.
“One step enough for me”
…simplify!
One grain of sand at a time…
One task at a time
Just live each day until bedtime.
I really appreciate the simplicity of this advice. It has helped me considerably. So often my anxiety stems from when I project too far into the future and start worrying or feeling overwhelmed.
I wish you a blessed and peaceful day today and every day.
Debra
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Avoidance: a robber of sleep and producer of anxiety
Published April 16, 2012 | 
What have you been avoiding lately? A drawer full of unpaid bills? Filing your taxes? Asking the boss for that much deserved raise? Making that medical appointment?
When we practice avoidance we are inviting anxiety into our lives. How?
1. The things we are putting off doing don’t magically go away (and we know this).
2. It creates and prolongs any worry about these things
3. It gives our minds plenty of time to blow things up and out of proportion.
4. Avoidance makes us feel weak and not very good about ourselves.
5. During that “witching hour” we spoke about in our prior post, it is these things that we are avoiding that get churned about over and over again when all we desperately want to do is not think at all and sleep!
Taking action is a confidence booster and sleep producer.
Pulling our heads out of the sand and dealing with our issues and challenges will give us many benefits including:
1. We will feel greatly empowered. Even little steps will make us feel so much better about ourselves and the situation (call the Student loan company, pull those bills that have been piling up in the drawer, initiate that conversation with your spouse, etc.)
2. Once we start taking steps towards resolution rather than avoidance, so much free time and energy is freed up to live our lives, be in the present rather than worrying.
3. The magnitude of what we perceived as our problems will be much deflated once we start dealing with them.
4. We will get some perspective and realize things aren’t as bad as we thought.
5. Peace of mind will return (along with a good night sleep).
In Peace,
Debra
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Creating space for wonder and possibilities (for a better night of sleep and less anxiety)
Published April 9, 2012 | 
If we are not sleeping well,
or are anxious,
or not happy with something about our lives, what do we do?
Do we complain about it (very common which is what many of us do)?
Do we sweep it under the carpet and hope the unwanted condition will magically go away or change on its own (avoidance is also very common).
How about a different way?
Perhaps we just need to ask ourselves some nice, open-ended questions that elicit a response of wonder and energy for possibilities…
Some ” I wonder” questions for your journal writing:
1. How can I get a better night sleep?
2. What would my life be like if I no longer was afraid of ______?
3. If I was well rested I could and would _____________________?
4. What would happen if I just decided to stop worrying?
5. I wonder what my life would be like if I just pursued what I have been wanting to do for years?
Breathe…deep…
Feel the energy that comes when we imagine..
What is possible?
Resource: Gay Hendricks, PH.D and Kathlyn Hendricks,PH.D. in their book Spirit-Centered Relationships articulate well the power that comes from cultivating wonder in our lives and asking ourselves questions with that kind of framework. Their work is focused on relationships but I believe it will work well with any issues you may be having in your life including insomnia, anxiety, etc.
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