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8 ways to take the fuel out of your fears to sleep more soundly at night.
Published February 6, 2012 | 
During times in my life when I have struggled with insomnia it is usually because I was afraid of something. I would be feeling fears about my health, my finances, my kids, my job, the world’s affairs, what others thought of me, etc.
I feel like I don’t lose sleep that much anymore because of these fears. I may still think about them but I don’t get “stuck” with them like I used to (especially at bedtime).
Here are a few things that have helped me shrink my fears:
1. Read things at bedtime that inspire me and feed me spiritually.
2. Turn off the day (I rarely bring work home anymore for instance)
3. Limit my media exposure. I still like to know what is going on in the world but I don’t consume it like I used to. There are actually mornings when I don’t read the newspaper (at one time in my life that would have been unheard of).
4. Exercise and practice yoga
5. Write in my journal (you will find many ideas here at The Warm Milk Journal).
6. Push my edge regularly. Doing something that is challenging really increases self confidence. Self confident people are less prone to losing sleep at night from fear.
7. Surrounding myself with loving and supportive people. Not feeling alone really helps us to feel more secure and less scared.
8. A hot bath at night is always a good thing to relax your body and mind before bed.
Goodnight relaxed and fearless one.
Debra ; )
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My experience with panic attacks
Published January 15, 2012 | Fear is the highest fence. ~Dudley Nichols
Those of you who have been visiting The Warm Milk Journal may be aware that I have been challenged with anxiety most of my life. Part of this experience has been dealing with panic attacks.
Over the years my panic attacks have varied in intensity or have been triggered by different things, but they do have some common symptoms…
Symptoms of panic attacks:
1. heart racing
2. sense of dread
3. rapid shallow breathing
4. feeling clammy
5. hyperactivity
6. feeling of being out of control
7. feeling of hopelessness
8. “black and white” or “all or nothing” way of thinking
9. feeling trapped or boxed in
10. afraid, feeling danger approaching
In other words, it really is a panicky situation. Or, it is perceived to be anyway. I am sure that people who have panic attacks have different triggers that initiate them.
Some of my panic attack triggers have been:
1. I had an expectation about something and it didn’t happen the way I wanted it to
2. Anticipating having to attend a social event
3. Worry about my health and mortality
4. Worry about finances
5. Feeling unloved and lonely
6. Being stuck in traffic while it is raining (happened frequently when I was a young mom in Seattle)
7. Crowded stores and shopping malls
8. Having to wait in a long line or doctor’s office
9. A sudden change in plans
I am not a doctor or nurse and I encourage you to seek medical help if you need it. At the end of this post I will share some links to learn more about panic disorder.
For now, I would like to share a few things with you that have helped me deal with my panic attacks…
1. If hyperventillating, slowing my breathing way down. Long, slow, deep breaths… doing this in a small paper bag can help.
2. Taking a walk
3. Getting active
4. Getting outdoors
5. Talking it out loud with someone you feel safe with (describing your sensations, what you are afraid of, etc.)
6. Getting busy! Doing anything that will get my mind onto something else
7. The realization that this is just anxiety; I am not really in any real danger
8. Getting perspective on some of my triggers. Talking to someone really helps with this (whether is is a caring spouse or medical counselor).
There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them. ~Andre Gide
Some resources about panic disorder:
Panic Disorder from PubMedHealth
Panic attacks and panic order from The Mayo Clinic
Before we part company I would like you to remember a few things.
If you do experience panic attacks, please remember:
1. You are not alone. Many people have these.
2. You are not crazy.
3. You are not dying.
4. You are safe.
5. You are loved.
6. BREATHE slowly…deeply…BREATHE
In Peace,
Debra
(this is me on my wedding day. No worries here!)
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Posted in anxiety, Good Health, panic attack, stress, worry | 
anxiety, panic attacks, panic disorder | 
3 CommentsWhat would happen if you stopped hiding yourself from the world? Dealing with social anxiety
Published January 14, 2012 | Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher
Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow. ~Dan Rather
Who and what are you hiding from?
Many of us with an introvert bent or struggle with issues of social anxiety tend to shield ourselves from the world to some extent.
This shield or mask may take on many forms in our daily lives such as:
1. A smile frequently on our faces (whether we are feeling cheerful or not. Frequently we may be feeling nervous but oh, do we smile nevertheless!)
2. Say yes to things (obligations such as volunteer projects, tasks for work, social invitations, etc.) that really we would prefer to say no to.
3. Not pursuing things that we would like to do (it could be hobby related, work related, or relationships) because we are afraid of how we will be perceived by others.
4. Accepting a position of underemployment even if we are highly educated
5. Stressing about having family and friends over to our home because we fear their judgment
If you can relate to any of this, I invite you to ask yourself a few questions:
1. What would it feel like if I took my “mask” off?
2. Does it matter whether everybody likes me or approves of me?
3. What if my smile reflected a genuine joy from within me rather than a plastic people pleasing nervous smile permanently etched on my face when out in public?
4. What would I do in my life if I was not afraid to just be myself?
5. What is the worst thing that can happen if I just “go for it”! (as it pertains to anything you may be holding yourself back on).
I will leave you now to reflect…
A blessed and peaceful day to you!
Debra
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Posted in anxiety, Positive living, Self-empowerment, worry | anxiety, people pleasing, self confidence, shyness, social anxiety | 2 CommentsTen circumstances when I am most prone to anxiety
Published November 27, 2011 | 
A leading cause of insomnia is anxiety. In my experience, anxiety has been caused by many factors, including:
1. When I have slept poorly the night before (this can be a spiraling, circling problem)
2. When I have experienced a lot of change in my life.
3. I am in a new situation.
4. I am hurting myself with negative self talk.
5. I am around negative people.
6. I read the newspaper or watch tv too much.
7. I am working too much.
8. I don’t spend enough time outdoors
9. I question, analyze, judge, worry and over think everything too much.
10. I have too much unstructured time on my hands.
I can think of more causes of my anxiety over the years but this is a pretty good list.
If you are somebody prone to anxiety and it is affecting your life through: loss of sleep, your relationships with others, your job, and general well-being… you may want to look at getting help.
A good first start you can do on your own is write a list like mine in your journal. Being aware of some “anxiety triggers” for you can be quite beneficial. I believe the key to most healing starts with awareness.
Next, I recommend talking to someone you trust and if necessary, your medical doctor.
Anxiety does not have to rule your life and affect your sleep night after night. There are medical and non medical treatments available.
I am not a doctor and this site is not intended to diagnose or offer treatment for you.
I do want you to know that here at The Warm Milk Journal you are not alone. Many of us share these common issues. You have friends here.
Feel free to comment and share anytime here. You may visit our Facebook page too.
In peace,
Debra
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Posted in anxiety, Benefits of Journal Writing, Depression, Getting a good night sleep, Good Health, insomnia, journal writing, lists, Positive living, Self-empowerment, stress, The Warm Milk Journal, Tips to help insomnia, worry | anxiety, anxiety causing insomnia, causes of anxiety, insomnia causing anxiety | Leave a commentWhat is keeping you awake at night?
Published October 24, 2011 | 
If you have challenges with insomnia, what is causing it? It is often helpful to get some insight as to what is keeping us awake at night. If you have a journal I encourage you to write in it nightly and see if any patterns are there.
There are many different reasons for not getting a good night of sleep. For the longest time I had serious challenges with anxiety and worry. Nowadays, I sleep pretty well except for the fact that I have a snoring partner.
Here is a list of common reasons for insomnia:
1. anxiety
2. Worrying: about finances, health, children, job related issues
3. parents with babies and young children who have sleep issues
4. being pregnant
5. back pain
6. restless leg syndrome
7. stressful life events: marital troubles, divorce, job loss, unemployment, aging parents, death, a move
This is not meant to be an exhaustive list. If you are having trouble sleeping at night I do encourage you as mentioned before to:
1. write in your journal
2. talk to your doctor
3. get some support
Please know that you are not alone. You can get help. For years I did not think I would ever sleep well again and then for many years when I got on an anti-anxiety medication I did not think I would be able to sleep well without the help of that drug.
I have been off the medication for five years now. Most nights I sleep soundly. You can too.
Sometimes it helps to share our experiences. Not getting enough sleep can be so frustrating because you end up feeling irritated and physically and emotionally drained.
You are welcome to write in and comment here at The Warm Milk Journal. You may also write in at our Facebook page
Have a blessed day and restful night,
Debra
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A Few Thoughts About Anxiety
Published October 3, 2011 | 
1. What we focus on grows.
I know if I am focusing on a perceived problem in my life or an ache or pain I feel somewhere in my body, anxiety stands a better chance to flourish.
However, if I focus on what I am thankful for or just get busy doing a task, I stand a better chance to flourish, not anxiety.
2. We are bigger than our problems/anxiety.
Life is what we perceive it to be. Are we letting circumstances alter the quality of our life? We don’t need to give our power away this way. No matter what is going on in our lives, our attitudes and how we feel are a choice we make each minute.
3. Life happens. Life can be humbling. I find as I get older there are no guarantees. Every day is a gift. What are you going to do with this new day?
4. I Am enough.
5. Although I have anxiety pretty well under control these days, there are still some things I do that either help or not.
What helps? Ending my day quietly, reading or writing in my journal or taking a hot bath.
What doesn’t help? Watching an exciting or violent movie or tv show late into the evening or working up until bedtime.
I wish you a blessed day today and a restful night tonight,
Debra
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An easy technique to stop your monkey mind
Published October 1, 2011 | 
When your mind is spinning on stuff, worrying about the bills or the to do lists or just thinking about stupid things, it is hard to have much peace.
Here is a simple technique to do to stop the monkey mind.
When you find your mind is controlling you, take back control by simply stating: “I Am consciousness”.
It might take a few times to get used to saying it but this statement will effectively stop your mind. It immediately gets you in the now and more present.
Write it down a few times in your journal.
I Am consciousness.
Breathe. Be still for a few moments. Just BE
I have been experimenting with this technique for the last two days and it really works! Try using it right as you are drifting off to sleep too.
In peace,
Debra
Resource: The Power of Decision by Raymond Charles Barker
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If you feel worry coming on, do one of these ten things…
Published August 4, 2011 | 
If you find your mind slipping into a worrying state, do one of these ten things:
1. Remind yourself of this fact: “this too shall pass”
2. Remember that tomorrow is another day. Each time we focus on something new we create a new beginning. That can be tomorrow or even RIGHT NOW.
3. 99% of what we worry about never comes happens.
4. Smile and “fake it till you make it”. If we physically act cheerful, we will in fact become cheerful (and worrying anxious thoughts don’t stand a chance. Ha!)
5. Jump around in your living room by yourself or with family members to music or just laugh and be silly.
6. Get busy doing something. We tend to worry if we are being idle.
7. Write down a list of things you are thankful for in your gratitude journal.
8. Get moving!
9. Go outside. The natural world is very calming to the nerves and feeds the spirit.
10. Sit up a little taller and declare “I Am enough! Worry, be banished!”
In Peace,
Debra