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Overworked? Six ways to deal with work stress
Published January 18, 2012 | 
Stress at work can be a huge cause of anxiety and loss of sleep.
In today’s business world, employees are expected to take on more and make themselves more available after hours.
There is great pressure on public employees as well (local government, public school teachers, etc.). The current economy has left many things unfunded and yet the workers are expected to do more with less.
If you are a stay at home parent, you may not have a job outside the home currently, but you are certainly working too! You have the demands of raising your precious babies, keeping the household running smoothly, and trying to take care of yourself.
Here are a few ideas for all of us (no matter what kind of work we do) to deal with the stress and pressures we are facing these days:
1. Write a list of a few things down the night before or first thing in the morning of the most important things you need to get done during your day. Don’t make the list too long! Cross them off as you accomplish them. Tell yourself that if you at least do the task on top you will have had a successful and productive day.
2. Take breaks throughout your day. Take a walk. Stretch and get away from your desk and computer for a few minutes. If you are a stay at home mom, sign up at a gym that has a nice nursery and give yourself an hour to work out or attend a fitness class.
3. Remember: you can’t please everyone. Don’t even try!
4. Do your best not to take work home with you. In my experience, we train others how to treat us. In other words, if employers or family members know they can encroach upon your personal time they will.
5. Watch our modern devices such as cell phones, Ipads, laptops, etc. These days we can stay plugged in 24/7 if we choose. These time bandits can really suck up a lot of our time and life.
6. Always remember that tomorrow is another day. What you don’t get done today? Don’t sweat it. The world will continue to function. Rest and sleep well. You did your best today.
In Peace,
Debra
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My experience with panic attacks
Published January 15, 2012 | Fear is the highest fence. ~Dudley Nichols
Those of you who have been visiting The Warm Milk Journal may be aware that I have been challenged with anxiety most of my life. Part of this experience has been dealing with panic attacks.
Over the years my panic attacks have varied in intensity or have been triggered by different things, but they do have some common symptoms…
Symptoms of panic attacks:
1. heart racing
2. sense of dread
3. rapid shallow breathing
4. feeling clammy
5. hyperactivity
6. feeling of being out of control
7. feeling of hopelessness
8. “black and white” or “all or nothing” way of thinking
9. feeling trapped or boxed in
10. afraid, feeling danger approaching
In other words, it really is a panicky situation. Or, it is perceived to be anyway. I am sure that people who have panic attacks have different triggers that initiate them.
Some of my panic attack triggers have been:
1. I had an expectation about something and it didn’t happen the way I wanted it to
2. Anticipating having to attend a social event
3. Worry about my health and mortality
4. Worry about finances
5. Feeling unloved and lonely
6. Being stuck in traffic while it is raining (happened frequently when I was a young mom in Seattle)
7. Crowded stores and shopping malls
8. Having to wait in a long line or doctor’s office
9. A sudden change in plans
I am not a doctor or nurse and I encourage you to seek medical help if you need it. At the end of this post I will share some links to learn more about panic disorder.
For now, I would like to share a few things with you that have helped me deal with my panic attacks…
1. If hyperventillating, slowing my breathing way down. Long, slow, deep breaths… doing this in a small paper bag can help.
2. Taking a walk
3. Getting active
4. Getting outdoors
5. Talking it out loud with someone you feel safe with (describing your sensations, what you are afraid of, etc.)
6. Getting busy! Doing anything that will get my mind onto something else
7. The realization that this is just anxiety; I am not really in any real danger
8. Getting perspective on some of my triggers. Talking to someone really helps with this (whether is is a caring spouse or medical counselor).
There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them. ~Andre Gide
Some resources about panic disorder:
Panic Disorder from PubMedHealth
Panic attacks and panic order from The Mayo Clinic
Before we part company I would like you to remember a few things.
If you do experience panic attacks, please remember:
1. You are not alone. Many people have these.
2. You are not crazy.
3. You are not dying.
4. You are safe.
5. You are loved.
6. BREATHE slowly…deeply…BREATHE
In Peace,
Debra
(this is me on my wedding day. No worries here!)
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Posted in anxiety, Good Health, panic attack, stress, worry | 
anxiety, panic attacks, panic disorder | 
2 CommentsToday’s challenge: look at a “problem” with a different perspective
Published January 3, 2012 | 
We are bigger than our problems.
This statement is absolutely true. We are bigger than our problems. The challenge comes when we are mired deep in it (whatever it is that is concerning us) and we can not see the proverbial light on the other side.
If you have a problem, worry, challenging situation, or someone in your life does, try this:
look at it from a different perspective.
Take a step back and remove yourself from it from a moment.
Write it down in your journal. Ask the divine for some guidance and then let it go for a while.
Once you’ve given yourself a break from it, inspiration may suddenly come to you (our minds often work that way).
You can also do something counter intuitive or contrarian just to see what shakes up.
What haven’t you tried? Ask some different questions. Or leave it alone (it may just resolve itself) So much of what we worry about anyway does not ever happen.
We will part company with a couple of ideas:
If you always do what you’ve always done you will always get what you’ve always got.
If you have something in your life you don’t want or you don’t have something that you do want, it is better to do nothing than to keep doing what you’ve been doing.
Have a blessed day,
Debra
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A gentle day of yoga for the day after Christmas
Published December 26, 2011 | 
I have been feeling the need to stretch. There has been family in town, dinners to cook, meals eaten out, and lot’s of yummy sweet treats to indulge in.
Great parties, wonderful family gatherings- but work outs at the gym have not been the top priority this week.
I need to stretch. Gentle stretching when I can steal a few moments here and there does a body good.
Today, I was fortunate enough to attend a yoga class at my gym. My father who is visiting us out of town asked if we could work out. I said sure!
I had forgotten there was a noon yoga class offered on this day. This was a substitute instructor. I did not even get his name.
From the moment I laid my mat down I was glad I was there.
Peace. A break.
For the next 55 minutes this lovely young man led us through a very gentle session of breathing and basic poses. I appreciated the easy pace. I was
not ready for anything too strenuous today.
At the end of the class the lights were dimmed. We were asked
“what do you really want for the new year?”
We closed our eyes and lay there in corpse pose and meditation for quite sometime.
Before parting company, our teacher said one more thing:
“If something you want is not in your life or you have something in your life that you do not want, it is better to do nothing rather than to continue to do what you have been doing”.
Something to think about…
In peace,
Debra
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STOP
Published December 23, 2011 | 
Once in a while during the busy-ness of this holiday season, remember to stop.
Stop and BE
Stop and SEE
Stop and LISTEN
Have a very blesed day.
Debra
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Posted in Meditations, Spirituality, stress | be in the now, busy holidays, rest, stop | Leave a comment13 Ways to develop our self doubt armor for more confident days and sounder sleep at night
Published December 13, 2011 | 
Doubting ourselves can cause great anxiety and loss of sleep.
What causes us to doubt ourselves?
Here are a few:
1. Having too much to do
2. Having too many demands put on us.
3. Negative self talk
4. Surrounding ourselves with negative or unsupportive people.
5. Not focusing on our strengths
During this busy time of year we can give ourselves a break from self-doubt. All we need to do is develop self doubt armor.
To shield ourselves from self doubt:
1. breathe frequently
2. Do not over commit ourselves
3. Focus on one important task at a time
4. If we don’t get everything done, it is okay.
5. Be conscious of our posture. Sit and stand up straight and tall.
6. Get plenty of exercise
7. Spend time outdoors
8. If someone else questions or criticizes you, DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY!
9. Know you are doing your best
10. Forgive
11 Accept
12. Be easy and gentle with yourself
13. Laugh and play often
Have a blessed day,
Debra
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I am a closet introvert: dealing with social anxiety
Published December 11, 2011 | People generally find me to be friendly. I smile. I am approachable and sometimes even outgoing.
What many people don’t know is that I am a closet introvert. What do I mean by this? For me, it means:
1. I don’t enjoy large parties.
2. I need a lot of quiet time by myself.
3. I will get anxious after a large social event.
4. It is hard found me to relax and be myself when I have to be “on” with a lot of people I don’t know very well.
This does not mean that I don’t like people, for I do! I like to socialize, just on a smaller and less frequent scale (a little bit of socializing goes a long way for me).
Basically, I get more energy, do my best work, and feel my most centered when I am by myself or among a few people whom I feel close to (my husband or daughter for instance).
If you can relate to this perhaps you are an introvert too.
I am here to say that IT IS OKAY TO BE AN INTROVERT!
I have to remind myself of this from time to time because we live in a society that tends to favor extroverts.
This time of year can be especially stressful for those of us who are not the most extroverted.
My strategy for this holiday season:
I plan to enjoy my friends and family. I will not over schedule us. If we get invited to a holiday gathering that I would rather not attend it is okay to say no. Why over commit to social events during the holidays (or any time of year, really)? I think out of a sense of duty perhaps…
Many of us closet introvert types are also people pleasers and it is hard to say no.
Say this to yourself: “I can say no!”
Say yes to the events and people that really matter.
I believe there is a balance between being a hermit and over extending ourselves. It is up to to find that fine line.
I wish you a very happy holiday season!
Debra
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Ten circumstances when I am most prone to anxiety
Published November 27, 2011 | 
A leading cause of insomnia is anxiety. In my experience, anxiety has been caused by many factors, including:
1. When I have slept poorly the night before (this can be a spiraling, circling problem)
2. When I have experienced a lot of change in my life.
3. I am in a new situation.
4. I am hurting myself with negative self talk.
5. I am around negative people.
6. I read the newspaper or watch tv too much.
7. I am working too much.
8. I don’t spend enough time outdoors
9. I question, analyze, judge, worry and over think everything too much.
10. I have too much unstructured time on my hands.
I can think of more causes of my anxiety over the years but this is a pretty good list.
If you are somebody prone to anxiety and it is affecting your life through: loss of sleep, your relationships with others, your job, and general well-being… you may want to look at getting help.
A good first start you can do on your own is write a list like mine in your journal. Being aware of some “anxiety triggers” for you can be quite beneficial. I believe the key to most healing starts with awareness.
Next, I recommend talking to someone you trust and if necessary, your medical doctor.
Anxiety does not have to rule your life and affect your sleep night after night. There are medical and non medical treatments available.
I am not a doctor and this site is not intended to diagnose or offer treatment for you.
I do want you to know that here at The Warm Milk Journal you are not alone. Many of us share these common issues. You have friends here.
Feel free to comment and share anytime here. You may visit our Facebook page too.
In peace,
Debra
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Posted in anxiety, Benefits of Journal Writing, Depression, Getting a good night sleep, Good Health, insomnia, journal writing, lists, Positive living, Self-empowerment, stress, The Warm Milk Journal, Tips to help insomnia, worry | anxiety, anxiety causing insomnia, causes of anxiety, insomnia causing anxiety | Leave a commentEvening
Published November 16, 2011 | 
Evening,
you are here once more.
Thank you for your arrival.
In times of stress, you comfort me with your dark and silence.
In times of celebration you delight me with your lights and time with loved ones.
Evening, thank you for being there. Without you I would not have this space of rest from my hectic work life and I
would not have this time to recharge.
When day is done, and clouds are low, And flowers are honey-dew, And Hesper’s lamp begins to glow Along the western blue; And homeward wing the turtle-doves, Then comes the hour the poet loves. ~ George Croly
What will you do with this gift? This evening?
A blessed night to all,
Debra
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Posted in Bedtime/night verses, creative writing, Happiness, stress | evening, rest | Leave a commentImagining a blanket made of love enveloping you: resting in child’s pose at bedtime for a good night sleep
Published November 15, 2011 | 
I just love this idea from yoga therapist Kate Vogt (found in the December issue of Yoga Journal, p. 28)
Get in child’s pose either on the floor, yoga mat, or on your bed. Child’s pose is having your knees wide apart and forehead resting on your hands.
Now, imagine a blanket made of infinite love covering you.
Let your head relax onto your hands.
Tell your skin, muscles, and organs that they are free from the demands of the day (no more multi-tasking or the need to be on the alert).
Now it is time for rest.
Settle into this cocoon and rest for at least a minute.
Good night!
Debra
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