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3:00am to 5:00am…The Witching Hour for anxiety and insomnia
Published April 14, 2012 | 
There is something about those wee early morning hours.. if we are not sleeping, it is a time when we are most vulnerable to repetitive anxious thoughts and not sleeping (as a result).
I believe we are not truly awake but we are only semi-conscious at this time. Somehow if our minds get to thinking about things (unpaid bills, issues at work, an argument you had with your spouse, something someone said to you at a party weeks ago…) it can get all blown out of proportion during this “witching hour”.
I’m amazed when I succumb to this form of anxiety at this hour just how bad it seems at the time. It feels so real. I’ll get to thinking about all of my responsibilities at work or focus in on something about my marriage or health that is downright fatalistic.
It is important for us to realize that this kind of thinking is not real. It is not really us, not really our lives… it is our mind doing its witching hour monkey tricks on us. That’s really all it is. Remember: it is not real! Don’t get up out of bed and threaten divorce with your spouse or draft a letter of resignation (or worse, an email) to your boss… do not take any action!
All that you need to do is realize that none of this is real. If you can, create some distance from it. BREATHE. Be an observer of your own thoughts
( a great skill that can be developed it you practice meditation on a regular basis). Laugh at it if you can.
In time, you will go back to sleep. You will wake up, have your coffee, start your day…once you are fully awake and have your center back life will feel all normal again. Trust me, it will!
Here’s to making light of that witching hour and not letingt our anxious minds have any power over us.
In peace,
Debra
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Posted in anxiety, Getting a good night sleep, insomnia, panic attack, Positive living, Self-empowerment, Tips to help insomnia, Ways to relax | 
being an observer of thoughts, early morning anxiety, insomnia, late night anxiety, meditation, repetitive thoughts, witching hour anxiety | 
Leave a commentOpen Spaces
Published April 10, 2012 | 
Open spaces!
Room to roam
and room to grow and expand…
Space for spirit,
dimension for the mind,
and a perspective that is positive and open to possibilities.
In peace,
Debra
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Creating space for wonder and possibilities (for a better night of sleep and less anxiety)
Published April 9, 2012 | 
If we are not sleeping well,
or are anxious,
or not happy with something about our lives, what do we do?
Do we complain about it (very common which is what many of us do)?
Do we sweep it under the carpet and hope the unwanted condition will magically go away or change on its own (avoidance is also very common).
How about a different way?
Perhaps we just need to ask ourselves some nice, open-ended questions that elicit a response of wonder and energy for possibilities…
Some ” I wonder” questions for your journal writing:
1. How can I get a better night sleep?
2. What would my life be like if I no longer was afraid of ______?
3. If I was well rested I could and would _____________________?
4. What would happen if I just decided to stop worrying?
5. I wonder what my life would be like if I just pursued what I have been wanting to do for years?
Breathe…deep…
Feel the energy that comes when we imagine..
What is possible?
Resource: Gay Hendricks, PH.D and Kathlyn Hendricks,PH.D. in their book Spirit-Centered Relationships articulate well the power that comes from cultivating wonder in our lives and asking ourselves questions with that kind of framework. Their work is focused on relationships but I believe it will work well with any issues you may be having in your life including insomnia, anxiety, etc.
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How can you keep your eye on the prize if you don’t know what the prize is?
Published March 30, 2012 | 
Are you dreamy? Do you drift? Do you ever want something more or different for your life?
How can we live the life of our dreams if we are not sure what we want?
To get clear on what you want I offer you this morning these five ideas:
1. In your journal or on a piece of paper, write down 100 things that you want to be, 100 things that you want to have, and 100 things that you want to do.
2. Imagine that you only had a few months left to life. What would be most important to you then?
3. Read about and talk to people who are doing what you want.
4. Express your desires to the people closest to you. Ask for their support (there is also the element of accountability when you share your dreams and goals with others).
5. Keep trying new things and be persistent. It is easy to give up quickly. If you believe in something, stick with it.
If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.
Have a blessed day,
Debra
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Life Supports Me: A journal writing exercise
Published March 25, 2012 | 
Today for your journal writing time I invite you to think of all the ways life supports you. Don’t give it too much thought. Just write down anything that comes to mind. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at how many ways life is working with you. To make this exercise even more powerful add gratitude by giving thanks next to each entry.
I will begin so I can give you an example and then you may take over:
Life Supports Me:
1. My cat is always there to sweetly cuddle me or just to be nearby when I am writing, reading, cooking, or watching a movie. Thank you!
2. My husband is there to talk to and hold me when I am upset about something. Thank you!
3. My body is healthy and strong and enables me to do many necessary and wonderful activities throughout my day. Thank you!
4. My parents and brother are always just a phone call away if I ever need anything. Thank you!
5. I have wonderful neighbors who greet me cheerfully anytime I step outside and are just there ( just the other night my wine bottle opener busted and I just walked my bottle of wine next door and my neighbor opened it for me). Thank you!
6. Whenever I am at a loss about something, inspiration seems to strike just as I need it! Thank you!
7. Money is always there when I really need it. Thank you!
8. My bed and pillows support my body as I sleep. Thank you!
9. Just as I am feeling a little tired and burned out at work it is time for the weekend or a school vacation comes along. Thank you!
10. Recently my dream job opened up within walking distance of my home. No more commute! Thank you!
This is a simply marvelous exercise that I encourage you to try.
Happy writing.
In peace,
Debra
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Cancelling negative thought patterns that cause anxiety, sleeplessness, and self-doubt: a journal writing exercise.
Published March 21, 2012 | 
Here is a list of common thought patterns that lead to anxiety and sleepless nights:
1. “I am not good enough”
2. “I don’t have enough”
3. “What are they thinking about me”?
4. “I look fat”
5. “I am a failure”
6. “I am broke”
7. “I am a paycheck away from being bankrupt and living on the street”.
8. “That’s impossible!”
9. “I can’t”
10. “I’m no good at___”
These are just a few “bad tapes” that many of us torture ourselves with on a regular basis, over and over again.
We are not born anxious or fearful or self-loathing!
We come out into the world these beautiful perfectly wonderful creatures!
Sometime between the time we were born to the person we are now we have learned and been conditioned to fear and be anxious and feel bad about ourselves(either by parents, siblings,teachers, friends, and other people our environment,media, our culture,etc).
Well, the good news is that we can work on cancelling all this bad thinking.
Tonight in your journal please write down a list of your negative thought patterns that you play on a regular basis. You know you have them. Now write them down. Or if you can’t think of any right now, have a notebook handy and when you catch yourself doing it, you can jot it down. Enlist a spouse or close friend to help. They can “bust you” if they hear you utter any negative self talk.
Once you write a fearful or anxious thought down, draw a big X across the phrase. That step alone would be really great. I also like to imagine myself cutting my own throat when I am thinking or saying one of these toxic messages to myself while yelling: CANCEL!!!!!
Now, you can actually re-write your own thought patterns to the reverse (the positive tape instead)
For example
1. “I can’t” can be cancelled and X’d and then “I can!” can take it’s place.
2. “I am fat” can be cancelled and X’d (really imagine yourself slashing your throat here!) can instead be “I love and appreciate my healthy and beautiful body”.
3. When you see something that you think you can’t afford such as a nice car on the highway, a beautiful home in a nice neighborhood, or a pretty Spring dress on the clothes rack, cancel “I can’t afford this”, and replace it with: “I can afford that!”.
You get the idea. It takes a little time. Be patient with yourself. Perhaps tackle one negative thought pattern at a time.
Before long you will be confident, worry-free, and sleeping like that innocent perfect baby you began your life as!
Cheers to that!
In Peace,
Debra
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Posted in Affirmations, anxiety, Benefits of Journal Writing, Depression, Getting a good night sleep, insomnia, Journal Prompts, journal writing, panic attack, Positive living, Self-empowerment, stress, worry | anxiety, cancelling negative self talk, cut throat image, doubting yourself, loss of sleep, negative tapes, self confidence, we were not born with anxiety, worry, writing for healing | 1 CommentEight things to do when someone close to you is being a grouch.
Published March 21, 2012 | 
The company we keep is important. Moods can be contagious. We can’t always choose, however, who we live with or work with. What do we do if someone close to us is cranky?
Many of us are sensitive and it can be very stressful when a loved one or co-worker or boss is in a less than agreeable mood.
This morning, I offer you:
Eight things to do if someone close to you is grumpy!
1. You may choose to just ignore them.
2. Tickle them.
3. Stick your tongue out at them until they smile (may not be appropriate if it’s your boss).
4. Breathe, and know it’s not you…it’s their stuff!
5. Take a walk. Exercise does wonders to reduce stress in the body.
6. You may confront them directly. They may not realize just how sour-pussy they are being. You may even get an apology!
7. Write your frustrations out either in your journal or write the grouch a letter (you may not want to give it to them but just writing your feelings will make you feel better).
8. Don’t take their bad mood personally! Their behavior does not have to affect you if you don’t let it!
In peace,
Debra
Recommended Resource:
I highly recommend Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements. The second agreement he talks about in chapter three: “Don’t Take Anything Personally” has been very helpful advice for me in my life.
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Posted in Family life, Happiness, Humor, Positive living, Self-empowerment, stress, Ways to relax | Leave a commentAnxious thoughts flirting with you? 8 ways to stop anxiety before it outright bites and attacks you.
Published March 18, 2012 | 
Anxiety can be subtle and sneaky at times. It may show up unassuming at first…a funny feeling in your stomach, a slight headache, a worry starting up in your mind…
If we let it, anxiety will continue on this journey until it grips, bites, and attacks you in the form of: panic attacks, sleepless nights, depression, and the feeling of helplessness.
Newsflash: we are far from helpless.
Anxiety and the fear it promotes does not become anything of consequence if we don’t grant it a ticket for its reckless ride on us (our bodies, our peace of mind,our jobs, our relationships, our sleep, our health, our life)!
When you first feel that first hint of anxiety presenting itself, here are eight ways to shoo the offender away:
1. Breathe deeply and slowly
2. Realize you are bigger than this. YOU are the one with all of the control and power.
3. Each time you focus you create a new reality. You can choose to not put any energy into anxiety’s arrival.
4. Laugh at it and look it straight on! Fears can’t get much of a grip on us if we face them. So often we will look back and think “why was I so worried or what was I panicked about”?
5. Get busy doing something: exercise, a project, helping someone else.. Keeping our minds and bodies busy at something will often help.
6. You can take John Parkin’s advice in his book: f**ck it . Essentially the message of this great little book is not to care or attach meaning of things in our lives so much and we will be free…let it go, release. Peace!
7. Write in your journal. Writing can be very healing. If you feel worried about something or feel something is not quite right, get it out on paper.
8. Always remember that fear is not real. This too shall pass. Let those anxious thoughts that are flirting with you right now pass by like the clouds on a beautiful breezy Spring day. They will go away!
In Peace,
Debra
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Good things happen when we make time for ourselves!
Published March 9, 2012 | 
When we make time for ourselves, lot’s of good things happen such as:
1. Renewed energy to give to our families and jobs.
2. Greater health
3. Feeling centered and balanced.
4. Creative juices start flowing
5. Feeling more connected to God or the Divine
6. Realizing your worth
7. Seeing the beauty all around you
8. Getting in touch with all of the many blessings in your life.
Yes, taking time for yourself is definitely worth it. How to pull it off? Like Nike, says: Just Do It!
Just:
1. Take that hot bath before you cook dinner for the family!
2. Establish your personal boundaries and be firm about them. For example, don’t allow colleagues, family members, neighbors, your kids, etc. take more of you than you can healthfully give. Say no to emotional vampires! If you don’t give in to them, they can’t suck the life blood out of you.
I really do believe we train others how to treat us. This is an issue worth working on!
3. Take an occasional mental day off from work. Why wait to be sick to take a sick day?
4. If there is a class you’ve always wanted to try, why not sign up for it? (Something comes in mind for me: dance fitness. I have been wanting to do this for years. It is time to do it!)
5. Sit outside with a book, magazine, or journal. There is just something about being part of nature. A few minutes out on my little back patio does wonders for me. I gaze up into the tall pine trees over our home, listen to the birds, enjoy the neighbors’ blooming azaleas, feel the breeze…ahhh..bliss!
In Peace,
Debra 
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Five surefire tips to cheer you up when you are feeling down
Published March 8, 2012 | 
We all have our days or moods when we are down. Perhaps we are tired or feel unappreciated by our spouses or for no apparent reason at all we just aren’t quite ourselves.
This morning I offer you five surefire ways to cheer up:
1. get outside. Time outside, the fresh air, the greenery… all will do your spirits a lot of good.
2. Write in your journal. Writing lists about what you feel grateful for is a great mood lifter.
3. Smile, even if you don’t feel like it! The physical act of smiling “tricks” our bodies into feeling happier. It works!
4. Ditto for laughing. Laugh even if you don’t feel like it. Feel good hormones will kick in.
5. Wear something bright and cheerful. On my blue mornings I pull something bright red out of my closet to wear.
Have a great day!
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