To live a well balanced, rewarding life of our dreams by day and sleep restfully at night.
Tweet others the way you want to be tweeted: 15 lessons I’ve learned on Twitter
Published July 7, 2011 | 
A year ago I was curious about Twitter. I knew about Facebook but I thought,what is this Twitter thing all about? I got to playing with it and I have to say it has been one of the most incredible social experiences of my life (and trust me, I am not the most technical person in the world).
Well, it has been quite a year. For the fun of it, I thought I would list some highlights of what I have learned on Twitter:
1. You get back what you put out there
2. Be generous
3. Be kind
4. People can smell a phony
5. People appreciate it if you truly care
6. It’s fun to get silly once in a while
7. We all want to be heard
8. We all want to be affirmed
9. Even the shyest of us have important voices and stories and ideas to share…
10. The world isn’t so small after all
11. We have more in common than differences
12. Life can be just one giant party with the right perspective
13. You are never alone
14. If you are willing to reach out, even just a wee bit, there is so much support out there…
15. It really all comes down to love, in our personal lives and in the Twitterverse.
This post is dedicated to the many wonderful people I have met on this journey. I don’t know where it’s all heading but I gotta believe it is someplace pretty incredibly great!
A blessed good night,
Debra
P.S. If you haven’t joined us yet, please do. My Twitter name is @WarmMilkJournal
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Footsteps In The Sand
Published January 22, 2011 | 
Footsteps in the sand,
you are so forgiving. You get washed away so many times, and yet
you just start anew, freshly with
great resilience.
Dearest footsteps,
you don’t look back; only forward- blazingly imprinting one step,
and then another. Forging ahead.
On this trail of yours is there one step
more important than another?
Is the first step more significant than those
that follow it?
Does the size of the step matter? Or the pattern
you make on the beach?
Dearest footsteps in the sand, while you exist you have a direction.
Your trail is one of imperfection and impermanence among
a majestic setting of ocean tides and vast beach; of sand dunes and sunsets;
of moonlight and sunrises…
Your lesson perhaps is one of taking first steps, as tiny as they may seem
and keeping the trail by moving one foot in front of the other
no matter what- for that is what
footsteps do. You continue to
create a path providing there are feet that do the walking.
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Posted in creative writing, Personal Favorites, poetry, Spirituality | 
direction, footprints sand, new path, poem, poetry, resilience, verse, walking on the beach | 
Leave a comment“Care, but not that much” ~ Herb Cohen- Putting People Pleasing To Rest
Published January 7, 2011 | 
In my lifetime people pleasing has probably been the leading cause of: loss of sleep, worry, anxiety, holding myself back, missed opportunities, and lines on my face.
Perhaps from the time I was a little girl I got conditioned to not just want but absolutely need the approval of my father and when I started school, my teachers. Then when I started my first job, my bosses.
Throughout the years I conducted myself being mindful or thinking about what others thought of me. What did they think of how I looked? What I wore? Who I hung out with? What I did for a living? What my house looked like? How my kids behave? What I said? What car I drove? The agonizing list can go on.
Those of you who are prone to anxiety like I am can relate to this I’m sure. In the past few years I decided that I am tired of living this way- for others. What I need to be doing is making sure I am okay with myself. What others think really does not have to have any control or power over me. This is not an easy task, the shedding of people pleasing. We people pleasers of the world seem to have the mandate of “being nice and perfect” firmly entrenched in our psyches.
I believe that if one can lick the people pleasing thing, peace of mind, a happier life, and much more restful nights of sleep are at hand for the taking.
Sound good? Here are some ideas that are helping me. I can’t say I am completely cured of my people pleasing yet but I, at age 44, am much better than I was even a few years ago.
My list of ten people pleasing blasters:
- Realize that you are enough. You are perfectly fine just as you are. There is no need to impress others.
- Work on living YOUR truth. Be your authentic self. This is your life after all. If not now, when?
- Most people are too busy worrying about themselves or about what you are thinking of them. They don’t have time to be thinking about you.
- What other people think is none of your business (ha! I just love that one).
- If you tried your best, can you really please everybody? The resounding answer is, of course, NO! So, why even try?
- Life is like a buffet table. There is a variety out there and not everybody puts the same things on their plates. The people who are not putting you on their plates- well, just bless them. Then look at and give thanks for all the people who do appreciate, love, and support you. You’d better get a second plate for this plate of yours is awful full!
- When all is said and done, what really matters in the end? Only you can answer that. This would be an excellent journal writing exercise.
- I encourage you to get in the habit of getting out of your comfort zone frequently and stretching yourself. Many of us who have people pleasing tendencies are actually pretty introverted even if we appear outgoing. Walk with confidence. Speak with confidence. Try attending a public speaking class such as Toastmasters. You will find your true voice. You are stronger than you think! It is also eye opening to discover that most of us are afraid to put ourselves out there. 99% of us wear our public persona masks. You are not alone.
- At the root of people pleasing is a kind of perfectionism streak which is not healthy for us. Newsflash: you are not perfect. None of us are. And that is okay! Give yourself permission to ease up and be gentle with yourself. You are just fine.
- If you find yourself bogged down in your anxious people pleasing state, ask yourself, “what is the worst that can happen”? If so and so really was offended by something you said or you didn’t get a perfect evaluation at work, does it really matter? Next week, next month, next year, or ten years from now- will it matter?
I will stop here for tonight. This is a subject I feel very strongly about for it is something that has really affected my life. If I can assist in any way to support you in extinguishing people pleasing from your life agenda, then I will be happy.
In peace (and total confidence in myself),
Debra
P.S. I hope that you have found value in this article. If not, I bless you but I will not lose sleep over it. Okay? : )
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When it’s raining outside, drink wine (or make lemonade): Ten ideas on dealing with disappointment
Published July 4, 2010 | Sometimes life just doesn’t happen the way we want it to: people aren’t acting the way we want, circumstances come about that mess up our expectations and plans. As a younger woman, I had a real hard time with this. I am learning now how important being flexible and going with the flow really are. In a recent post we explored the idea of how we react to circumstances is more important than the events or circumstances themselves. I really believe this. Once we get this, our lives are so much more peaceful and happy.
Ten Ideas to consider:
- If something unexpected occurs, try not to automatically get upset about it. It may not be what we were planning or expecting, but is it really so bad? Breathe….be calm. Is there another way to look at it?
- Another person’s choices or behavior is really out of our control. If we let their choices or behavior upset us in anyway we are giving them too much power over us.
- Stretch and enjoy the flexibility of your healthy and beautiful body. Know that your mind and spirit can be that flexible too!
- Lower expectations and you will be disappointed less often.
- Know that most people (like your boss, parents, spouse, friends) really are doing their best with what they have.
- Practice forgiveness, acceptance, and release. Forgiveness is such an important thing to learn how to do for your own health and well being.
- When struggling with disappointment, breathing and taking a walk are always excellent options.
- Think before you say anything to someone you are disappointed with or angry with. Words can and do hurt. Choose words carefully when in a negative state- or better yet, don’t talk at all for a while.
- Pet your cat or dog often. Animals are wonderful mentors in just being in the now and not letting too much stuff bother them.
- What we resist persists. Just try going with it, whatever “it” may be. Let someone else be in control or let things and people be what they are. Feel how that acceptance feels in your body. That is peace.
Debra : )
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