I used to be afraid of my negative emotions, especially my anger. I didn’t want to feel them, because anger and pain were uncomfortable and their presence made me feel out of control. Trying to hide them from myself didn’t work, though–it just led to me feeling restless, depressed or anxious and stopped me from feeling much of anything at all.
As part of my journey towards wholeness, I’ve learned how to deal with these emotions better. I’ve shifted my perspective on feelings. Now I see them as important sources of information about my life. For example, my anger may be telling me that someone is violating my boundaries or making me uncomfortable; without knowing that, I can’t possibly decide what to do about it.
I like to use a process I call “meditative journaling” to help me understand what my emotions are trying to tell me. Try it out next time you’re battling an emotion you wish you didn’t feel!
Steps to Meditative Journaling:
1. Lie down and close your eyes. Take several deep, slow breaths. As you breathe in, say to yourself, “Welcome anger.” (or whatever emotion you are fighting). As you breathe out say to yourself, “I accept you.”
2. Focus on how your body feels as you continue to breathe. Look for the space in your body where your negative emotion is living.
3. Breathe into the emotion once you find it. Continue to welcome it as you breathe.
4.Ask the emotion what message it has for you. Breathe and listen. Do not try to consciously think of a message; let it come to you.
5. Once you receive the message, thank the emotion and breathe slowly in and out as you bid it farewell.
6. When you are ready, open your eyes. Write in your journal about your experience. Free associate; don’t stop to think or go back to edit. Write for at least 20 minutes.
7. Put your journal aside for a few hours, then reread what you wrote and see what additional insights you received.
This process allows you to honor your emotions without immediately acting on them. It puts you in a more peaceful frame of mind so that you can decide what to do. Get in the habit of meditative journaling regularly. Check out my new coaching program, Rewrite Your Life Script, for other ways you can embrace your emotions and learn from them. You may also want to explore art or music as ways of honoring, expressing and releasing emotion.
Jack Ori has overcome depression, anxiety and feelings of invisibility to create a love-filled life for himself. He now helps others overcome self-sabotage and feelings of powerlessness through writing, meditation and other coaching tools. He is the creator of the Rewrite Your Life Script program (http://rewriteyourlifescript.blogspot.com), which includes a radio series and blog in addition to coaching opportunities. Coach Jack has appeared numerous times on empowering radio shows, most notably Autism Empowerment and Abundance U R It.
Follow Coach Jack on Twitter: https://twitter.com/FTMCoachJack
Like Coach Jack on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FTMCoachJack
The prayer of St. Francis
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
A peaceful state of mind will lead to less anxiety and restful sleep most nights.
How do we on a consistent basis be in that peaceful state of mind?
I suggest we keep the following in mind:
1. The past is the past. It does not have any power over us unless we allow it to.
2. The future is not yet here. Why sacrifice today by fretting about something that may or (more than likely) may not happen?
3. Find your allies! Surround yourself with positive, supportive people who love and care about you.
4. Have faith in yourself,
5. Have faith in others,
6. Have faith in life,
7. have faith in God.
8. Circumstances and other people can not hurt you if you don’t let them.
9. At the end of the day, say, “I did my best”. Breathe. It is done.
10. In the end, what is truly important? So much of what we permit worry us or upset us if just fluff. Let it go!
Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith. ~ Author Unknown
For a treat, listen to
Time To Say Goodbye Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman.flv
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
May the sun shine for you,
when people or circumstances tempt you to question yourself,
may you look beyond them and not take anything personally today.
It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes. ~ Sally Field
I find that during times when my mind is stuck in a worrying pattern, it just may be I have too much time on my hands. There is nothing like getting busy and working at a task (getting in “the flow”) that makes the worrying monkey mind go away.
Here are some ways to get busy and say good bye to worry:
1. Hit the gym and have a good work out!
2. Try a new fitness class at the gym.
3. Do something creative: write, paint, draw, sculpt, dance…
4. Do some volunteer work
5. Set a few goals that are important to you and take action on them.
6. Get lost in a really good book.
7. Join a new club: Toastmasters, a local French club, Book club, etc.
8. Organize something: your closets, your bookshelves, that junk drawer you have in the kitchen, your files, email inbox, or photos on your computer
9. Write thank you letters to anyone who has made a difference in your life.
10. When all else fails, call mom or cuddle with your cat.
you have arrived.
A blustery day (so far)…
I need to find a way
to turn you into something worthwhile.
Perhaps I will remember to:
be thankful for the little things,
and disassociate from people and experiences that
do not serve my happiness and well being.
Yeah, Monday morning…
As you turn to afternoon,
may you mellow a bit and treat me kindly
as I soon embark upon your trail this A.M.
In concert with you, Dear day,
I will find a way to
an armor to deflect the stress…
and eventually rest so that I may welcome in
Tuesday with promise.
If a good night sleep remains elusive for you, try:
1. skipping your afternoon cola, coffee, or tea
2. not watching television at night
3. don’t exercise after 6:00pm
4. An hour before bedtime sip on that herbal sleepytime tea or glass of warm milk
5. Do some light stretching and breathing exercises.
6. Clear your mind of things that you are either upset about or excited about. A hot bath and getting lost in a good book before sleep is a good way to relax the mind.
May gentleness rule this day,
and let worries melt away to a place
far away from me.
May in their place, be a space for peace
that comes home to stay
within my mind, heart, and body.
May your love and guidance
guide me today to remember
what is most important:
Joy in the little things,
And most of all
I would like to offer you an opportunity to submit a guest post for The Warm Milk Journal. Our readership continues to grow and is now getting over 11,000 visitors from around the world a month. We have hundreds of followers on our Facebook page and at this writing, 16,461 people following us on Twitter.
I will share and market your post as much as I would my own. If your post is published here, I expect you to do the same.
A few guidelines:
1. Familiarize yourself with our site first. Our content is a bit eclectic. We welcome anything that supports living a well balanced life by day and sleeping restfully at night. Most posts are pretty short in length.
2. Sample topics may include anything to do with: insomnia, anxiety, health and wellness, journal writing, what makes us happy, how to relax and overcome stress, spirituality, meditation, poetry, travel, bedroom design and decor, etc.
3. People I would like to hear from: any person who is challenged and has solutions for above topics, people from the health and wellness industry, medical providers such as: doctors, nurses, counselors, yoga instructors, massage therapists, chiropractors, etc., hospitality industry (hotel managers or B&B owners), travel industry, mattress companies, sleep aid products, feng shui experts, etc.
4. Note, it is fine that you have a product or service but please offer content of value to our readership. I will not publish anything that is strictly a marketing piece.
5. Your submission needs to be an original post (not published on your own site or anywhere else).
6. Interested? Please email me: Debratech@msn.com. Attach your article via an editable Word document. You may include a brief bio, link to your site, and a photo you would like me to use.
This blogging journey has been a tremendously rewarding one. There is nothing like feeling passionate about something and sharing it with others. I feel very blessed to be sharing this experience with you. I am excited to see what comes of this. We are never alone and we can always learn from each other. I think it will be wonderful for you to be able to share here at The Warm Milk Journal and for our readership to enjoy new content from different voices.
In an ideal life, I am always centered (as in, sitting on a peaceful mountain top all day centered). This is the state of mind I strive to be in but, alas, daily life and my personality come into play once in a while…
We may not be perfectly at peace all of the time but I do find it helpful to know what makes us vulnerable to anxiety. The more aware we are of what I call our anxiety “triggers”, the more effectively we can recognize the anxious state for what it is (a momentary passing state flirting with us) and get on with the business of enjoying our lives (and sleeping restfully at night).
We all have our “triggers” that make us vulnerable to anxiety. I will share with you a few of mine and perhaps you may relate to these (or if you have different ones, please feel free to comment and share)…
Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop. ~ Usman B. Asif
Five things that make me antsy with anxiety:
1. When I feel physically run down
2. When I am experiencing some kind of pain in my body
3. When I have too much unstructured time
4. When too many choices are presented to me
5. When I feel like I should be productive but instead I am distracted rather than focused.
There are more but I will stop with these. If anxiety is flirting with me in any of these five ways,
I often find it helpful to:
1. take a walk outside
2. get busy doing something
3. remind myself that this too shall pass
4. help somebody else
5. enjoy a great movie with my family
Goodbye, anxiety….with any luck this was a mild passing flirtation and nothing more…
Worry is a misuse of imagination. ~ Dan Zadra