It doesn’t matter how comfy your mattress, linens, and pillows are.. or how early you turn in at night, if you are not right with your relationships.
We are social beings. I believe the most important life purpose we have is to be in relationship. If something is not right with our most important relationships, we will not sleep well; guaranteed!
Here at The Warm Milk Journal our wish for you is to sleep well at night!
So, tonight I offer you ideas to get right with your relationships so you can rest peacefully tonight (and every night)!
The important relationships:
1. Relationship with God.
If my faith is wobbly and wavering, I suffer from incredible anxiety and sleepless nights. I think Joel Osteen says it well when he speaks about our faith and our mountains (aka our challenges or “problems). He quotes Jesus in Mark 11:23 (kjv)”Whoever will say to this mountain, be removed, and does not doubt in his heart, he will have whatever he says”. Source: I Declare 31 Promises to Speak Over your Life by Joel Osteen, p.161
2. Relationship with spouse
This is so huge for me. If I go to bed after an argument with my husband John, I am quite literally in hell all night. I can not sleep until I know there is harmony between me and my husband. Our marriages are the most sacred and important relationships we will ever have. Put them first. All else will fall into place.
An absolutely wonderful site is Fawn Weaver’s Happy Wives Club.It’s a blog celebrating loving our husbands. It is very life affirming and I highly recommend it! What is more important than love?
3. Relationship with self
This is another big one. I spent years of my life beating myself up, torturing myself with self doubt and fear and pity. If we are not right with ourselves we are setting ourselves up for anxiety and many sleepless nights. We need to accept and love ourselves. Be gentle. Accept. Love. Know we are doing our best. Forgive and let go of the past. Quit our people pleasing ways… Try imagining your four year old self. Really center on this image. You were this beautiful innocent little person once who just needed to be loved and accepted… guess what? You are still that person!
Begin now to unconditionally love yourself. Self berating and perfectionism and pleasing need to go out with yesterday’s newspaper. Got it?!
4. Relationship with parents
My Jewish background makes it very clear about this: we are to honor our parents. They gave us life. If we are holding onto grudges from the past, it is time to let them go. Our parents did their best raising us (just as we are doing our best raising our own children). Focus on the good they did. The rest? Let it go! Love them. If your parents are getting older and they don’t live near you: call them, write them thank you notes (Facebook and texting don’t count). Visit them. Cherish them now. What a gift they gave us and what a gift life and God has given us if they are still here. If they are not, pray and love them and know they are in a good place!
5. Relationship with community.
Agape, love of all mankind and the world is so important. If we choose to be kind, gentle, and non violent in our society… so much good will come from this. Each individual has great power to influence the whole. Something simple such as letting the car on the highway in your lane or smiling at the stranger in your grocery store… we never really know exactly how our behavior (if centered in love) can affect others. But we can be sure that it does in same way… how do we want to affect others and our community)?
6. Relationship with our children
A few things I will say about this all important relationship… children are our future- they need our unconditional love, support, guidance, firm boundaries and discipline. Our kids don’t need us to be their best friends or to earn trophies that they really did not earn. Our kids need to learn the boost of confidence that comes from hard work and good character. They need the freedom to make mistakes and learn from them. They need to see mom and dad who make their marriage a priority and grow up in secure and solid homes as opposed to stress and (possibly) divorced homes because parents made the kids the entire focus of the home at the expense of the marriage.
7. Relationship with profession: (employer, colleagues, clients, customers).
Integrity! Do what you say you are going to do. Deliver value. Be a problem solver rather than a whiner.
Get these seven relationships right and you will sleep well at night. I promise!
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