During times of my life when I have tossed and turned during the night, my mind often has been plagued with thoughts of regret. I was doing this even as a much younger woman in my twenties, possibly even my teens. What I have learned now is that if we are stuck in this kind of “woulda, coulda, shoulda” game with ourselves, we are not in the present. We are not being very kind to ourselves if we are torturing ourselves with regret.

I recommend we be mindful of two things:

1. Be present

2. Live our lives fully so that we never need to wonder “what might have been”

Being Present:

Just this awareness of being in the Now has helped me so much whenever I am stressed about anything – but particularly when I am having fearful thinking about my past or future. Feelings of regret are based from fear or shame about the past. The kindest thing that we can do for ourselves is to forgive the past: ourselves, others, and any circumstances associated with any bad  memories. Let it go. Poof! It is a done deal. The past and memories we associate with it need never have power and control over us again.

Whenever I find myself thinking and feeling regretful about the past I tell myself “cancel” and turn my thinking into something I am feeling thankful for in my present life. Gratitude really works wonders here.

There are times that we are for whatever reason, feeling sad and melancholy (the weather, hormones, the anniversary of a sad event, etc.). When this happens to me I just have a good cry. There is something very therapeutic about crying. I will sometimes cry, not really even knowing why I am crying. But like a cloud passing by, the cry comes and goes. And then it is done. Then I breathe deeply and tap into what I am thankful for in my present life.

Living our lives fully:

I sure don’t want to be an old lady on my deathbed regretting anything about my life! The only way I can my preventing that from happening is to live my life authentically. Live the life of my dreams.

This would be a wonderful journal exercise. Get out your journal and think about how you want to live your life here on out.

Ask yourself:

1. If I had just three months to live what would I do? Who would I see? Where would I go? What kind of work would I do? What would I let go and deem not important anymore?
2. If money was absolutely no object, what would I do? Who would I see? Where would I go? What kind of work would I do? What would I let get go of and deem no longer worthy of my time, attention, and energy?
3. What do I want to be said about me at my funeral service or obituary?
4. What is my legacy going to be?
5. How do I want to make the world a better place?

There is a saying out there that goes something like: “Hapiness means never having to say you are sorry .” I would add, or ever regretting anything and thinking or sighing to yourself “what might have been”.

If we are in the now as much as possible and taking steps to create the lives we really are intended to live, I do believe we will have more peaceful minds and better sleep at night.

Debra : )

Related Posts:

• Welcome to the Warm Milk Journal
• Twelve things that help when fear keeps you awake at night
• Creating space for wonder and possibilities (for a better night of sleep and less anxiety)
• Anxious thoughts flirting with you? 8 ways to stop anxiety before it outright bites and attacks you.
• 8 ways to take the fuel out of your fears to sleep more soundly at night.